if you want to bask in the shine of this double edge sword, bear the bittersweet bliss of being around him while the whole time hoping for more, expecting less, and enjoying the moment as it happens

You ruined my childhood
Set the road for adulthood
You showed no mercy
Expected me to feel no pain

You messed up my thoughts
Didn't care that this war was pushing us apart
You had no remorse
Thought I wouldn't suffer

Favoritism was your way of raising us
You had no idea the blade had taken me
Wanted me to not complain and agree
Wanted me to live without a heart

You drank most of my life away
Couldn't see my pain and blood stained shirts
Alcoholism was your answer; you led me to my crutch
Blood is the price paid to not feel pain

But now the years have made you weak and soft
Think that you can treat me the same but expect more
Don't you see that the gap is too wide now?
You've taken my innocence, heart, and soul

Stripped me of my humanity and yet you expect and angel
The least favorite and strongest of the three was always me
Now you hope for your son back
Your pain has molded me into a monster

Keep on denying me, lie all you want
All you're achieving is losing the only only person and ever knew and loved you
You're lies and secretes will come to the light. you've lost your son, you lost his love

Now you demand love and compassion
Don't care for the struggle I'm suffering
You fear what you've created, you fear me
And its my turn to be selfish, it's my turn to end my life
You brought this on, you're the one to blame

What lies beneath the mask?
Secrets untold
What truth is buried deep in the ?shadows?
The pain that's hidden from all
Which heart cries all alone?
The one that dies slowly inside
Why do we hide?
To protect our damaged souls

I'll fight one day at a time,
Face one demon each day.
Until I get by,
I'll fight one day at a time.

My life is just an extended poem. I'm a philosopher, artist, poet and a being with secrets hidden. When I decide to open up, the richest words come out, the deepest lines are said.

What good is the glue if the broken pieces are missing?

Love may be wonderful,
But it's always let me down

An empty canyon
An abyss of dark fog
Cold isolation
Frozen in time
Never truly moving forward

That was the norm
Then a blazing comet came soaring through the icy night
Land caught a flame
The dark sky light up
And hope was born

Life is cruel my friend, and love is a Labyrinth. Just kick back and relax, love wasn't meant to be found, but it's meant to find you.

You sink to the depths of despair
Choke on the memories of failure
And wish you could halt the agony,
To halt your gift

The shackles, however, don't let it happen
They grasp so ever firmly the beating drum of life
Bruise the flesh that they cling to
Barely maintaining your existance; you can see the clear blue skies from your watery prison

You gasp, you scream
You wish the shackles would shatter, that you would at long last be embraced by the void of darkness at the bottom

But in the back of your mind, at the bottom of your shackled drum, you pray and hope that these chains would bring sweet release
That you could once more feel the fresh crisp air against your blue and purple skin one final tine

You release tears unseen,
And scream to be released from limbo
To either perish or be set free
But truth be told,
You're the one who placed the shackles you hate so much
You're the warden of this watery hell

Beautiful mercury droplets escape the vast void
How could such beauty exist in a plane of nothing?
For such beauty to even escape from the emptiness

These beautiful droplets are not the saving gift of water
Though of far more divine magnificence
A deadly radiance, the liquid fire
Do not dare wipe nor touch the falling droplets

Be amazed and honored to have witnessed such a rare phenomenon
Few have gazed upon the melancholy and glamorous event
Watch from a distance as mercury droplets rain from the empty void
Watch as the silver tears escape the hollow cavity

Stitch my heart,
Hide the scars
Put on a smile
Forget the nightmares
And aim for a new start

Love now before you lose the ability to do so,
Tell him now before you lose him forever
Know he loves you back,
before you end up alone
Let your love be shone,
Before its just a faded memory

The storm may be fierce and the darkness might be terrifying, but eventually the clouds will part to show sunshine and a beautiful rainbow of hope.

What she asks for is something that she denied herself
With her slurred words, she sealed the doors
With every insult she got ****** into the darkness

My mind is a labyrinth, one that she desperately tries to decipher
With every bruise she makes a wrong turn
With every drop of crimson wine she falls into the black

Who she wants to know is someone who she pushed away
She doesn't know him, doesn't know that her flames become extinguished in his ocean of resentment

My heart is locked away and sealed, the key, something that must be earned
A key she frantically searches for
She tries to knockdown the walls, to make the door crumble
But her fists just make them all the stronger

When will she understand who she searches for is dead?
The undead left behind is unknown to her and she'll never know him because she can't **** him like she did with her son,
He's just a shell, a piece of battle armor brought to life

My life is not hers to command,
The boy who she seeks to dictate died,
I'm all that's left
And I will be in control of my life
Finally, ending her tyranny

You sink to the bottom of despair
Choke on the memories of failure
And wish you could stop the pain,
To stop your life

The chains of life, however, don't let it happen
They grasp so ever firmly your heart until it hurts
Bruised the flesh that they cling to
Barely keeping you here; you can see the clear blue skies from your watery prison

You gasp, you scream
You wish the chains would shatter, that you would at long last be embraced by the void of darkness at the bottom

But in the back of your mind, at the bottom of your shackled heart, you pray and hope that these chains would bring you out of this hell
That you could once more feel the fresh crisp air against your blue and purple skin

You release tears unseen,
And scream to be released from limbo
To either perish or be set free
But truth be told,
You're the one fighting the chains you hate so much
You're the warden of this watery hell

Through approval and dismay
The water never lays still
It crashes and weeps,
Its waves dance and sing

The water doesn't ask for permission
It doesn't seek acknowledgment,
The tides will rise with the bad
And recede with the good
To hide and reveal, the beauty below

The water,
It does as it pleases
It changes throughout the day
To keep marvelous life sustain
It will continue to play

To sing and dance
To crash and weep
All through approval and dismay

What makes an angel?
Is it virtue?
Is it faith?
Or is it divine judgment?

But what makes a sinner?
Surviving?
Desire?
Pride?

What makes a demon?
An *******?
Vengeance?
A desire for self-justice?

What makes a fallen?
Those that lose faith?
Those that seek faith through sin?
Those that make us human?

What makes a human?
A cruel world?
A life of paradox?
A world of forever wonder?

What makes you feel alive?
Sadomasochism?
Validation?
Recognition?
Acceptance?

What?­

What brings you peace?
Love?
Revenge?
Victory?
Or living how you choose to live without restraints

Burning fire cascades through agonized fleshed
Not to heal, not to numb, not to forget

All is one, and one is all as the thoughts flare at high speeds
The dark, the light, it all crashed within
The fire will not cleanse this turmoil
It will not burn the pain

This liquid fire the catalyst for a storm
To feel,
To cry,
To scream,
Just to feel something
Anything

Taste the crimson wine
Savor the agony that swirls within the glass
These ****** tears that fall
Hold the story of failure
Enjoy the bitter taste of pain that burns
These tears, oh how they turn into wine

On the lake of failure I lay
Looking down at the depths of resentment that's beneath
This lake is called the lake of Selfishness
The name that you gave it
It's polluted with insults and cursed blood
Toxins all around
What once was a beautiful scene
Is now a horrifying tomb

Afloat of this lake of darkness
I hear the norm
"Everything with you is failure"
"You care about no one, you're selfish"
"You're a horrible person"
"You will die alone"

So I look down at the chain that I hold
And I let go
Down you go
To the bottom of the trap you've set
What you've created, begins to choke you

This dying lake is your mark
The death that swims underneath is all yours
Now feel the norm
See the pollution
You begin to drown
You ask for my help
But I'm selfish, a failure, will die alone, and I'm a horrible person
So I let you sink
Down down you go
To the grave you've dug so long ago
Sleep at last
In your lake of hate