My few words fell down
So, so heavy to the floor
contrasting, somewhat
Lacking any intent
Effects of such beauty
ruining the best of me
taking the breath
before it can be used
She never hears my attempts
Effects of such beauty.

I have this ability,
Inside,
Within my very being...
A Gift?..
Talent...
A Skill, Yes...
Worthy of Honing.
This, my craft
I've come to love.
But it is so much more,
Much more,.
You may call my way
However you believe it to be...
But I hold it's secret.
See it for what it is,..
and it is Amazing,
It is Ancient, and Limitless...
To me, the one that wields it,
this blessing?.. I see, incredible things.
I alone, my inner eye,..
Then of nothing, shall I create something,..
Seen til this moment,...
By me, and me alone.
Now, made real by my magic,..
Physical, Real,..
Mysterious spells, and enchantments cast
upon, into, over and through it.
imagination, emotion, heart and soul,..
Do you see?... Gaze upon my artwork...
Inside of you, and you, and me...
Strings, and I manipulate, maneuver, Agitate,..
I Soothe, I sympathize, I celebrate,...
Surrendering myself, entirely,
I make each piece,..
These spells are made of every color.
Potions stirred into impossible textures.
Subject matters,..
Please Judge.
Please Critique,
Please, please, pretend
to know my reasons,..
I see the awe
See the hidden wonder...
what state of mind must mine be indeed.
See the cloth that made me,
Makes everything!
I am destined,
I have heard my calling...
Bottom, to Top,..
Roots, up,...
In love with my calling.

Look up, I force my gaze up
I face that unwanted reflection
The hated man, the other half
Still addicted, Dependent on ****
The realization hits again
That I and Him, The same man
Night and Day difference
Pros and Cons I weigh
His motivation beats me to it
It is a sickness and I am sick
Of it of not wanting only to want again
Of being unable to manage
Everyday tasks and hobbies I loved
Creativity seems to visit
When it’s the good ****…
Again, That man before me now
******* this ******* mirror
He knows how badly I hate him,
He feels no where near the same
Content with his poison
But I can see it in his eyes,
He knows that it isn’t right
Will he help me quit this time?

Here we are
Grey waters
Swells heaving
Crashing continuosly
Over, over, sinking
Lost, capsized
In an ocean of feeling
Such bitterness
Cold, grey waters
My world, our ship
Taken, torn,
Slipping in
Capsized, feelings
Going down with a ship
A lost cause
Because of you
Sails lost winds
only to be torn apart
when winds of change hit
breaking masts; match sticks
to the crushing weight
of your caress
the lack therein
Abandon ship
A chance if only
Gaining purchase upon
Or cling to foolishly
a fractured fragment
of the lost
the capsized emotions
gasping, choking, calling out
Washing up on the shores
of an island of confused loss
Capsized in an ocean of feeling
lost.

Here we are
Grey waters
Swells heaving
Crashing continuosly
Over, over, sinking
Lost, capsized
In an ocean of feeling
Such bitterness
Cold, grey waters
My world, our ship
Taken, torn,
Slipping in
Capsized, feelings
Going down with a ship
A lost cause
Because of you
Sails lost winds
only to be torn apart
when winds of change hit
breaking masts; match sticks
to the crushing weight
of your caress
the lack therein
Abandon ship
A chance if only
Gaining purchase upon
Or cling to foolishly
a fractured fragment
of the lost
the capsized emotions
gasping, choking, calling out
Washing up on the shores
of an island of confused loss
Capsized in an ocean of feeling
lost.

Honestly, I have never been destined for any sort of greatness.
I've always been a dreamer.
Chased nothing
nothing worth a life
like this one I've wasted.