Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
eliana Aug 5
I want to be brave.
I want to be smart.
I want to be saved.
I want a new start.

I'm constantly being pushed,
Pushed to the edge.
Knock me down, now I'm crushed.
I'm falling over the ledge.
People tell me it's going to be all right,
But how much longer do I have to fight?

I know I have a purpose in life,
But how do I reach it when I'm trapped?
Nothing to do but wish into the night.
When I ask, it's never too far from being denied.
Save me or join me; just don't say no.
I promise I won't let you go.

We're not too far behind now.
A little further up is where our future lies.
Change is something I want to allow.
From here on out, all I'll do is rise.
Lord, I need the faith.
I need the strength.
I'm always trying to please people around me. I feel alone, but now I want to do something for me. I want to create a purpose and an inspiration for myself. I ask the Lord to help me, and I know he will. I have to find myself when everyone puts up obstacles in my life. Now is the time. I'm tired of being fake.
I wish there was a better way,
To show things will get better,
Than stupid umbrella metaphors.
Because the truth is,
No amount of wisdom can really help,
When darkness is a brainless beast.

I wish there was a way to make things change,
Nothing big,
Just to shake up the rocks.
To unstuck everybody who needs it,
It’s not much compared to these pains,
But I promise we will see the sun.
There’s more to be done and there are people in pain that deserve saving. Do not close your eyes to grief for the only way to overcome an oppressor is to stand and fight against it. Weep not when the fight is hard, when it is as if you’re trying to push back an ocean. For if you’re out of fight there is always someone willing to fight for you. These days light is scarce and peace is rare but there is still hope to believe in. I beg you to refuse giving up, to refuse to fall down further, I beg you, climb higher. When you reach the top all you will have to fear is falling, and if we refuse to fall, there is no fear to be had. Life is the time between the sun setting and rising, we will see the day!
  Aug 5 eliana
Peter Fernandez
Am I insane?
For wanting out of this pain?
I feel so twisted
For wanting everyone to forget I ever existed

I want to start fresh
I want to rip off my flesh
I hate being in my skin
It feels like I’m committing a sin

All I want is a new life
I want to stab mine with a knife
I hate my desires
I want to light them with fires

I hate what people think of me
But what would they think if they saw the real me
Would they scream?
They definitely wouldn’t beam.

I know I’m not perfect
I know I’m not worth it
I won’t blame them for leaving
I mean I’m the one being deceiving
  Aug 5 eliana
Peter Fernandez
Do you remember
The last time you ate ice cream without feeling the need to surrender?
The last time you stepped on a scale
Without the number determining whether you pass or fail?

Do you remember
The last time you truly smiled without it feeling dismembered?
The last time you felt true joy and delight
Without you and your face having a fight?

Do you remember
The last time you got mad and didn’t get yelled at for your “temper?”
When were were young and naive
Without the fear of how you’re perceived?

I doubt it.
But now you find any excuse to jump into the pit.
You constantly spiral,
Not thinking about you’re survival.
First time using tags 😭 Lwk don’t know what they mean
  Aug 5 eliana
Peter Fernandez
Hey god,
I know I’m quite odd.
I know I don’t fit in.
I don’t feel okay in my own skin.

Does everyone feel like this?
Is everyone in this abyss?
Or is this just me?
I feel the opposite of free.

I should be happy.
I shouldn’t be feeling ******.
I’m “fortunate,”
But I feel like I have nothing to celebrate.

I feel like I need help.
I don’t trust myself.
But therapy’s expensive,
And I’m too defensive.
  Aug 5 eliana
Peter Fernandez
Who am I?
Without the lies?
Who do I live for?
Can I be more?

Who am I when nobody’s watching?
Am I detaching?
When people aren’t seeing,
Am I fleeing?

Why do I have this constant need
To become what people need till I bleed?
Why can’t I live for myself
Instead of for themselves?

Why do I feel the need to lie?
Or feel the need to hide?
The need to protect myself from what?
The reason I keep the door shut.

I wish I knew
Why I’m so blue,
Why everything feels so strange,
Am I deranged?

I think I need help,
But nobody hears my yelp.
I’ll try to fix me,
Maybe I can finally be free.
  Aug 5 eliana
Jolene
It’s crippling
Breath trembling
My pain is paining
My body is falling
No one’s calling
The ambulance isn’t coming
There is no running
Just tumbling
The ground is falling
Beneath my feet
It’s dropping
My body is trembling
Next page