because please tell me how i am supposed to trust with all i've heard,
trust with the words you spoke of
turning bodies into jokes and filling my ears with words that have nothing more than an intention of being evil,
laughing and talking words of some of my own insecurities

please tell me how i am supposed to trust when all the men i have ever had to deal with have turned their backs,
physical abuse or emotional
smacking me in the face with their hand or their words,
regretting me and pushing me off,
acting as though i was nothing but an ugly girl or just a needy little fool begging for their love

change my mind and please prove to me that not all men with leave me crying a countless number of tears,
countless hours of me too hurt to get up and move from the spot they left me laying at,
reminiscing on the words they spoke to me;
their daughter or their ex

i am wounded by a number of men
and you scream to me to trust you,
you scream to me that you would never ever do anything to hurt me,
even when we part,
you want me to trust you
and i cannot find myself to it

because darling,
if you try to trust one after another
and they all seem to break it the same,
how can you find yourself to trust again?

I de aller
længste
sorte, mørke nætter
fyldt til randen
med regn
er det så rart
at vandre
forpjasket
fordrukken
over det brolagte
søgende efter det
absolutte ingenting
i mørke kopper
med den næste salige lykke i.

Jeg ved ikke om jeg vil farve mit hår lilla, eller om jeg vil stoppe det "os" som lige er blevet vores.
Jeg kender ikke til andres følelser, men vader rundt i mine egne, i et mislykket forsøg på at finde ud af hvem jeg er.
Da jeg var barn græd jeg over at ingen ville være sammen med mig, nu løber tårene ned af kinderne fordi jeg ikke ved hvem jeg skal vælge.
Min krop er under vandet, men ikke vandtæt. Mit hoved er i skyerne, men  det har højdeskræk.
Selv når jeg finder ro, er det svært at give slip, for når en slipstrøm af tanker siver ud, arbejder det hele på højtryk.

Spirit walker what can you tell
standing amidst us silent and still
weaving our souls into a tapestry so rich
each silken thread a story to tell
you catch our tears in your soft white hands
watching us weep in a fervent prayer
so many voices inside your head
screaming out from the bones of the dead
take me with you oh spirit walker
for I am prepared for the journey ahead

If only you knew the damage caused
a few small words said and forgotten
days and hours of painful analysing
awake late at night, cold sweat haze
reliving, re-enacting, in my mind
caught in a time trap, held on repeat
left on my own, locked in this hurt
I hear my voice repeat as I cry
eternally asking the question, why?