This is a piece of my inner core
Please take it, please like it
And I’ll give you more

You broke me into a thousand little pieces,
Because you would be happy with just one.
And now that you have it
You will keep it forever,
In a blue wooden box under your bed.

That smile on your face will now stay permanent,
Because you know that
Without it I can never be whole.
And you like your things
Just a little bit broken.

Why does it crack you up?
Is the idea of
Someone
Loving
Me
So preposterous
That you can’t keep that laughter of yours
From spilling out of your mouth like poisoned arrows?

I want the sun to appear on the sky and bury me in a blanket of rays
I want to dance while it turns the ground into a zebra
Stripes everywhere I step
I want to feel the fresh spring air smell the right amount of cold
I want to sing while shadows dance on my eyelashes
And I want to run
As fast as I possibly can
Till my face is as hot as the sun
and I can
finally
taste the spring

How do you tell someone
that you don’t like thinking,
because it hurts
too much
for you to bear?

I need to see your love
And I don't know how to ask for it
because I don't know if it is there
Sei la ragione di ogni mio sorriso
I love you to the very core of my being
Can you say the same?

There is something about becoming a mother that makes you examine the crimes of your own

I do not feel safe with you
My intact body does not equal an intact mind

When I look at you I don't see my mother
You stopped being all that that encompasses a long time ago

Calling me out for being shy when in fact I was just lonely
Believing I was not worthy of the space I took up
Believing my strength was only in being good, performing well and tending to others
Forgetting that I too had a voice
The ability to speak not just listen

You didn't protect my peace
You didn't protect my sanity
And you didn't not teach my how to do it on my own

Maybe you thought my tear streaked face was just my face

You put me in a position where I shared your roll as a mother
Caretaker of the entire house
And in that teaching me that I was only valuable in what I could give
But not valuable enough to receive

I am glad I have a son
He will not have to hide his body in sweaters too warm for the season
He will not be subject to your view of what it means to be a woman
He might actually be as confident and self-loving as your own son

There is only so much oxygen in a room
And I wish you had raised me to believe I could have some

But your biggest crime of all is making me believe that it was laughable that I could be loved

The only witness didn't not understand
He laughed silently
At the pain caused by your hand

I wish I could password protect my face, so you would have no idea what’s going on in my head.

Why did you start becoming interesting the moment you stopped being interested?

I fade away
From reality
Whenever I think
About you

I'll live on your smile
till I see it again

I don't know where those people went.
Somehow they are missing
and there are others
living in their skin

Someone else is controlling her breath
feeling her sweat as she is building,
building walls
higher than ever seen

She is right there,
but still
She is missing

Shouldn't someone be steering this canoe?
I am flailing in the water
tangled up in the stream

Where the hell is the captain?
I yell and I scream
Before realizing the inevitable
the captain
is me

I’m sure
If you wanted me
I would be yours

A little slice of happiness
Was all I got
A moment where he loved me
In the shape he thought I existed in
Where I hadn't ruined it
Where he wasn't scared
Where we were
Dreams incarnate

I’ll be yours
Until
Every star has fallen down
And the sun has swallowed this lovely green planet
We call
Home

I lost my breath
kissing you
and now I'm losing it again
missing you

I looked up at the ceiling
and imagined the stars

as if I was lying on the ground
with the universe around me

As if the wounds
and words
never existed at all

"only you"
You said
And I fell like a fool

Your ghost hangs around
As his skin touches mine

He doesn't need a cigarette
After ***

But there are still ashes on the ground
Left over from when we burned down

As the world crumbled around us
I found you
and you found me

I never knew happiness had this many shades

It is easy with you
in a way I never thought it could be
And I think it might be the real deal

You see me
You want me
the real me

The boy that broke my heart never even knew me
he thought I was easy
for giving him my all
when all he did was take
When I met him I was ready to be free
and he caged me in fear
I wasn't easy and neither was the situation

But with you.
I was ready to stop looking
when you found me

He was a crash course
a lesson in love

he bought me a one-way ticket  
to an express train around the sun

I do not
Have enough
Energy
To keep
Loving
You

It's funny how
you thought
I was crazy
when the only one
who ever made me that way
was you

The water was so blue it hurt my eyes
but I
couldn't
stop staring

I was still
standing in rubble
When you came
into my life

I feel guilty
For loving you
More than
You gave me permission to

I fell in love with you as if you were the ocean

He did nothing
But make me
Miss you more