Ironatmosphere: Poems

176 · Jun 2020

Ocean blue

Ironatmosphere Jun 2020

Ocean blue

I fell in love with you as if you were the ocean

And then I drowned

#blue

174 · May 2020

There is no antidote

Ironatmosphere May 2020

There is no antidote

My words are poisonous
I can't say
I'm sorry
Without hurting you
But the poison
It is killing me too

#blue

173 · Jun 2020

Only the sadness is left

Ironatmosphere Jun 2020

Only the sadness is left

You hurt me deeply
And sometimes I think I shouldn't have given you that power in the first place
But I will never apologise for loving too hard or trying my best

But I don't know if I can forgive myself for ever believing you were doing the same

I loved you too much to see clearly

#blue

170 · Dec 2019

Kindness

Ironatmosphere Dec 2019

Kindness

Kindness cannot be measured solely on its highest peak
Just like you don't measure the volume of an ocean solely on its depth
Anyone can be kind for a moment.
But what really, truly matters is the moments in between,
the absence of kindness
When a moment violently longs for kindness
and is met with nothing in return.
That is how you tell a waterfilled hole from an ocean.
True kindness is not broken with bursts of cruelty
It ripples but does not echo
True kindness is an uninterrupted stream

#kindness #cruelty #ocean

169 · Jun 2020

Lonely

Ironatmosphere Jun 2020

Lonely

I have more people
Better friends
Than ever before
But not having you
Or even a part of you
Makes me feel so ******* alone

Tu me manques

#blue

168 · Jul 2020

Erased

Ironatmosphere Jul 2020

Erased

A kiss
Erased
By another
Pair of lips
But not forgotten

166 · Jun 2020

A letter to my lover

Ironatmosphere Jun 2020

A letter to my lover

You never really liked me
If you had
You wouldn't have been scared
when I gave you my everything

I saw you
and I liked
even the things I normally wouldn't

And I hope you find someone else who can love you that way
because it is hard
and it is rare

You were never that for me
I kept searching for it in you
but in your eyes were only lust
and I almost got lost along the way

But I'll find someone else to call my home

#blue

165 · Jun 2020

Some days

Ironatmosphere Jun 2020

Some days

There are some days
That are harder than others
Days that I miss you more

Today is one of those days
And I want to tell you about it
I want to hear what you think
To tell you how I feel

There are some days that I really hope for a someday
Even if it breaks me

I really want a someday with you

#blue

165 · Jun 2020

Free

Ironatmosphere Jun 2020

Free

Today I feel free
as if the words weighing me down
have all been expelled from my body

You don't have power over me anymore
Even if I wouldn't say no
to having your skin pressed against mine
one more time

we were not made for romance
we were not made for love

We were two puzzle pieces that fit together
but from two different boxes
we didn't make sense
we didn't come from the same picture

But it was fun when it lasted

#blue

165 · Jun 2020

Find me

Ironatmosphere Jun 2020

Find me

I just want love
From someone
Who isn't intent
On destroying
Me

164 · Jun 2020

Naive

Ironatmosphere Jun 2020

Naive

You were the ocean
I was the canoe
And somehow I thought I was the one steering

#blue

163 · May 2020

Text me when you're drunk

Ironatmosphere May 2020

Text me when you're drunk

I wrote to you again
I don't know if you wanted me to
You never replied
I hope you text me when you're drunk
That a part of you still wants me
That you haven't forgotten
Because you are woven into the fabric of my being
And I really can't stand being not even a memory to you

#blue

162 · Jun 2020

You never got me

Ironatmosphere Jun 2020

You never got me

I have wasted a library on you
.
.
.
.
.
Too bad you're illiterate

#blue

161 · Jun 2020

Lies

Ironatmosphere Jun 2020

Lies

You told me I wasn't broken
But then you acted like I was
Making it irrelevant if I was in the first place

Sure as hell am now

#blue

160 · Jun 2020

Invisible ink

Ironatmosphere Jun 2020

Invisible ink

I want to kiss somebody else tonight
So that your lips aren't the last ones I've tasted
I bet every memory of me has already been replaced
That you have already been touched in the places that for a short period of time were mine
I know that your memory will linger like a tattoo under my skin
But I am dying for a cover up

#blue

160 · Jun 2020

Flood waves

Ironatmosphere Jun 2020

Flood waves

I have to thank you
for being my muse
For flooding my once dried up stream
with an entire ocean

It was disastrous and wonderful
I almost drowned
before I remembered how to swim

but now here I am
floating on the surface

Words that wouldn't stop
I should have brought you a life vest

#blue

159 · Jun 2020

Not a cloud in sight

Ironatmosphere Jun 2020

Not a cloud in sight

We were a firework
and it fizzled out
leaving a smoking sky

but now when I look up
all I see is blue

I love you, but I'm free now.
Thank you

#blue

158 · Jun 2020

Fixing what isn't broken

Ironatmosphere Jun 2020

Fixing what isn't broken

You know,
I really thought
I could fix you
but you didn't ask for that
so
You broke me
just so that I would have something else to do

#blue

154 · Jun 2020

Untitled

Ironatmosphere Jun 2020

Untitled

I miss you today
Your body on mine
Your smile
How you would breathe me in
How you looked at me before it was ruined
I miss you today

#blue

154 · Jun 2020

Silly me

Ironatmosphere Jun 2020

Silly me

Delusions
We were made up of them
And not much more
But I didn't realise it
Until my heart stained the floor

#blue

152 · May 2020

Weeds

Ironatmosphere May 2020

Weeds

My heart used to be whole
But then I met you

You brought a shovel
And buried yourself deep down

You made yourself a home
Decorated it with your favourite pictures

And then you left
Leaving the door open
Letting in a storm

And now there are weeds growing from the floor

#heartbreak

148 · Jun 2020

You and your fucking lasso

Ironatmosphere Jun 2020

You and your ******* lasso

I fed my heart to you
Dipped in chocolate and with a silver spoon
And when you threw it back up
I was ready to leave
To take the pieces and just go

But you pulled me back in
Secured me with a rope
And somehow I got the blame
for staying and holding on

I still have the rope marks across my bones
Even thought they are fading just a little every day

You should have just let me leave
But I guess you just couldn't be broken again
So you had to break me

#blue

147 · Jun 2020

someone new won't be you

Ironatmosphere Jun 2020

someone new won't be you

They say I'll find someone better
Someone made for me
But if you weren't made for me ...
why does my bones ache without you?

Why does the air taste recycled
if it hasn't touched your skin?

I am drowning in the absence of your breath

I keep trying to find someone to lend me oxygen
But the taste isn't the same

I have stopped hearing your voice in the words I say
soon I won't remember
what it sounds like
when you say my name

#blue

145 · May 2020

Nasty scars

Ironatmosphere May 2020

Nasty scars

I fell for you
But you weren't there to catch me
So I scraped my knees
And I can't stop picking at the scabs

Will I ever heal?

#heartbreak

141 · Jul 31

Desperate times

Ironatmosphere Jul 31

Desperate times

There was a time where I was desperate
Desperate to prove that I could be desired
That it was an option for me

I found someone to prove my thesis
And got blinded thinking it was all about the boy
Thinking that he was my savior

I got clingy
I didn't want to loose this anomaly

Because surely that was all it was,
an anomaly
So I clung to him not realizing
That feeling I wanted was a part of me
Not him

Me letting myself be seen instead of skulking in the shadows
Me grabbing my own power

He was nothing but the first
And oh, how he pales compared to the last

137 · Jun 2020

Replaceable

Ironatmosphere Jun 2020

Replaceable

I was never special to you
I was replaceable
You needed someone to be what I was for you
You didn't need me

And I guess you filled some kind of function for me too
but that was different
my desire was stronger than my need
I was good before I met you

You broke me and I remembered that I bleed

But the heart is a muscle
break it
and it will become even stronger

So thank you for breaking me little by little

#blue

129 · May 2020

My first love

Ironatmosphere May 2020

My first love

I told him I loved him
for the first time
as I stepped off the ride
and waved goodbye

you needed to know

129 · May 2020

Tangled

Ironatmosphere May 2020

Tangled

You were intoxicating
I got high on your perfume

I melted into your touch
Tangled my body and my heart into yours

Sometimes I think I catch a whiff of your scent
as if it is still clinging onto the walls

Somehow you managed to untangle yourself
while still leaving me tangled

119 · May 2020

Time capsule

Ironatmosphere May 2020

Time capsule

All I ever wanted was
for you to
savour me
hungrily
Indulge in being
near me

Show me
how much you
adored me
how
real
all
my dreams for us could be

All the ways our
days could be
alive and
magnificent
.
.
.
.
Retrogression is not the
answer
soon I will
thrive without you

I will survive you

119 · May 2020

nothing compares to you

Ironatmosphere May 2020

nothing compares to you

I kissed him because he smelled like you
and that is just a little bit ****** up

91 · May 2020

I am the forgotten

Ironatmosphere May 2020

I am the forgotten

I forget to eat
I forget to sleep
I forget to take care of myself

But I can't forget you

How long till you forget me?

#heartbreak

91 · May 2020

obsession

Ironatmosphere May 2020

obsession

I got too intense
I felt too much

I tried to push it down
I really tried

I knew how scared you would get
how insecure

But I couldn't hold it down
and I drove you away

You were my drug
and I have an addictive personality

Now I can't have you
and
The abstinence is killing me

87 · Mar 2020

The half life of Sex

Ironatmosphere Mar 2020

The half life of ***

And I don't know how it is possible
but I still smell like your sweat mixed in with mine

It clings onto my hair like plastic wrap
firm, but soft and colorless.

It has sunk into my skin
swallowed up by my pores
and now it is gently seeping out

A temporary alteration of my chemistry

#*** #love

76 · May 2020

heartbreak

Ironatmosphere May 2020

heartbreak

I will never forget the way you looked at me
before everything changed
You looked at me like I shone like gold
You saw my imperfections and you praised them

Then you took it way
And I will never be the same

73 · Mar 2020

Perfect synchrony

Ironatmosphere Mar 2020

Perfect synchrony

A part of me is hoping that you are using me too
So we can build each other and tear each other down
in some kind of ****** up synchrony

71 · Mar 2020

transformation

Ironatmosphere Mar 2020

transformation

All I want
is to be whoever it is you see
when you look at me

But that is a person who will die in process
Because if I use you to become the me I want to be
I won't

I will become someone shallow and twisted
I will need a new name
Whoever I become I won't ever be the same

#love

— The End —