I gotta say, you sure know how to pick 'em.
I know that by now, you realize that I'm the furthest thing from perfect but for some reason you still saw something in me that made you want to spend the rest of your life with me. And to that again I say, you sure know how to pick 'em.

There are few things i want you to know about me before you get too heavily involved. You see, I am a nurturer by nature. I am the caretaker to all and the kind heart that everyone turns to. So I apologize if some days I am lost under the weight of the world I put on my own shoulders by accepting the problems of those that asked and believe me, everybody asks. I'm sorry if this can crush me to the point where I disappear but all I ask is that you help me find my way back again. Because you are the lighthouse for my stormy mind.

Another thing is that I can ask too much. I can lose myself in the problems of my own design and the problems designed by others and sometimes I will fall apart and not know how to put the pieces back together again. So I'm sorry for asking too much but I hope that you will learn patience and knowing to pick up the pieces, but let me put them back together.

I am also one with what you'd call "flights of fancy." I may want to be a pastry chef one day and then a French teacher the other, I will go through weeks, and sometimes months, where I will be preoccupied with only one thing. Just know that no matter where my imagination takes me, where my interests may lead, I will always come home to you because being your wife is the one thing that I can never stop wanting to do.

I'm sure you've already noticed how passionate I can be when I care about something. I will scream, cry, and cheer with everything in my being for the things that I believe in. Please don't laugh too much when I start crying over the death of a character in a book series or start screaming at the tv because the people talking are just so stupid and wrong and they need to know that they're wrong so I'm going to tell them even though they can't hear me... Just let me be, but also know when to tell me that I'm just being crazy. Because I know that I'm crazy, sometimes I just need a second opinion.

On the topic of second opinions, oftentimes I value the words of others more than I value the words of myself. Know that with a few simple words you can even lift me up to the heavens or you can tear me down further than you ever knew was possible. My uncertainty in myself will always be a problem and so I apologize if I constantly ask if I did anything wrong or if I upset you because I'm terrified that someday I will and you will leave like all the rest. I just want you to hold me. Tell me you love me even if I don't believe you especially if I don't believe you.

Be the husband I hope you will be and I will be the wife that I know I can be. Because even if it's hard, even if you get sick of the sight of me, even if the words that I say bounces off of you like water on a hot surface, know that I mean every word of "I love you" and I meant what I said when I told you "I do."

You are an *******.

You made me believe that every time you said I love you would be the beginning of something that would last forever, you made me believe that every time you held me in your arms it would be a safe place to go like the way that the birds fly into the trees and know that no matter where they go, they can always come home.

You made me believe that maybe someday I would be good enough to be somebody's mother.

You made me believe that when I looked into the mirror that I was somebody beautiful, not because of the way you held me, but that since you saw something and you never lied, it must be true.

So excuse me if I don't understand how you can look at me now as if I'm just an person in a picture that you forgot about, I don't know how you can look at her the way that you used to look at me and not feel the pain that I feel; knives ripping apart the heart that you worked so desperately to stitch back together then gave up on. I don't understand how you can say that you'd fight for her when you gave up your future with me so easily...

See... how can I go on with knowing that the future that I planned with you, the names that we named together, the plans that we made together would all crumble away with the few words "I don't think we should be we anymore." I accept my mistakes. I was not always right and I put too much on you, but I needed you...

I needed you and you left... because you said it was too much for you.

I told you that I could change and be better, but you said I was perfect just the way I was. You said that I didn't deserve you and when you said it, you meant I didn't deserve pain that you might put me through...

But you see...

How dare you tell me what I deserve.

How dare you tell me that my future that I planned with you was no longer an option. How dare you throw away the one love that listened to me when I said

"No. Stop. Please."

How can you look at me the way you did before before you knew the pain that I've gone through? I shared depths of my heart and parts of my soul that had never seen the sun, but now only know the warm light of your love.

I trusted you... And I trusted what we would become. I put all my eggs in a basket that wasn't woven quite right and watched helplessly as it fell apart. I hope that maybe someday you'll see what I saw and know that it's not fair for you to say I didn't deserve you when you made me feel like I deserved the world.

I just want you to see what I saw.

Somebody worth loving... and sharing my little part of eternity with.

Without your arms around me, how do I stay together?

I never intended for this to happen,
I never knew what could be.
I didn't think you'd be much more
Than a friend, nothing more, you see.

I never intended to hold you tight
And share my hopes and dreams
I forgot what it felt like to be cared for,
To repair my broken and torn seams.

I never intended to feel what I feel
And what I feel scares me to death.
But what I feel is strong and it's real
And I will defend it to my very last breath.

Because I never intended to fall for you dear.
I was a broken and terrible mess.
You've helped me see what I can truly be.
I just had to get this off my chest.

Love is painful.
It's not a soft and gentle thing.
Love can rip you in two, it can make you wish you were dead, and cause more pain than was ever wanted or needed.

But the pain of love is dulled every moment that you look and smile at me.
See the pain is unstoppable but it can be offset by the act us of being together.