if you live in the moment

you must pay for it

being spontaneous
will damage you

stupid decisions
and
stupid actions

wait
don't define me by those
i was just trying to live
my life
in the moment
with no regrets

but the regrets always come after
when life runs you down and reminds you
you can't be so carefree
not in this world

well I'll just do my thing
and you just turn a blind eye

why
does
distance
hurt
so
much
i
am
seriously
broken

all those drunken nights
taking their toll
now she is a wreck
her body has been used
it's been abused
she's broken

None existent words describe emotions I thought were long extinct

But the feelings still linger on

In mind and soul

No one can truly know what you're thinking

And even you may struggle to understand how you're feeling

Just know that others have been there

It's been done

So always remember

You're never the only one.

sometimes I don't know what I am doing
or where I am going
but I feel guided
like I'm being led onto a path
towards what I will one day treasure

and sometimes I get lost
doesn't everybody?
i trip up
i fall down
i wander from the path
just like the times I lose sight of what truly matters
i hide away from others
i let my mind run rampant with dark thoughts
and i feel this haunting loneliness

but then i remember the infinite path
i guess it's the journey with its many roads
and crossroads
and sometimes there will be dead ends
and I will stray into the darkest depths of the wilderness
but I will have the strength to pick myself up
to recognise some people stay in life
yet others leave
I might be broken and I might be shattered
but I'll take the memories
and carry on going

it's that sense of being guided
that innate sense of direction

even if it takes my whole life
I will reach my destination
I will keep going