I envy the girls with small hands and small feet
Long hair and everything petite
I have large hands and large feet
Short hair and everything big about me
Some girls envy my height
Some girls envy my large hands cause they're good in a fight
I'm a writer, not a fighter
I'm not in a padded ring
I'm walking my way down blue lines of offering
The offering that takes me
It takes my writer's blood as offering
And it's never ending
I'm thankful for the pages that hold me
They're the reason I'm staying together
They are the reason I haven't fully fell a part yet

*And the ropes are slowly thinning away into nothing

It's funny how we met right after my heart shattered 
It's like you knew me all along
And now you're here to save me
But I kept pushing you out
But why do you still keep coming back?

See, they say shattered mirrors yell out "bad omen!"
And I had stared till I no longer recognise my reflection
But you reminded me of sleepless nights and how the crows never called a name
Your heart does not sound like a broken glass to me

It rhymed with my beating heart
Though broken, it's still pumping
Notions of stigma streaming in that fervent river vein
The truth hits me when I stared long enough
I can never give what you've given me
But why do you keep coming back?

Your veins were rivers that would take us away
As these paper boats fall apart
I still see parts of myself in shards of you
We could share the same breath underwater
*So please, let me fix you.

I can't write...
     I have a stash of twenty drafts, bearing a couple of lines each
I can't crack...
     Every draft seem to have developed a shell I can't breach
I can't gather...
     My thoughts so I could nurture these drafts to fruition
I can't think...
     The clatter in my head meant only to deafen
I can't fathom...
     What went right from what had gone completely awry
I can't find...
     Much needed sanity to let soar and fly
I can't cry...
     The tears I've beckoned for so very badly
I can't scream...
     Only muffled gurgles of notions drowned at sea
I can't see...
     The bigger picture...that consumed us both
I can't hear...
     Except for the dreaded voice of reason that I loathe
I can't piece...
     Together one decent little write

I can't breathe...
     I can't breathe...*I'm losing this fight

" Home is where your heart is. "
I've got,
broken things,
where my heart should be.

(FAH)

I opened the door
To let you in
Just maybe we could default
And start all over again

But now all I can see
There is nothing new to me
Nor will there ever be
A better sound from thee

So I am left
With the choices I made
And I think to myself
I'm the one that's been misled

Foolish pride and utter contempt
Was all the while you beguiled
My greatest sin was to think
That there was truth behind your arrogance

Every sunrise brings new light
Each moment a truth grows strong with new insight
When in fact I turn , reaching back
Only to see you have already gone