Lay beside me
tell me what they've done.
Speak the words I wanna hear
to make my demons run.
The door is locked now
but its open if you're true.
If you can understand the me,
then I can understand the you.

Lay beside me
under wicked sky.
The black of Day,
dark of night,
we share this paralyze.
The door cracks open
but there's no sun shining thru.
Black heart scarring darker still,
but there's no sun shining thru.
No,  there's no sun shining thru.
No,  there's no sun shining. . .

What I've felt,  what I've known,
turn the pages, turn to stone.
Behind the door
should I open it for you?
What I've felt,  what I've known,
sick and tired I stand alone.
Could you be there, 'cause
I'm the one who waits for you,
or are you unforgiven, too?

Lay beside me,
this won't hurt,  I swear.
She loves me not,  
she loves me still,  
but she'll never love again.
She lay beside me,  
but she'll be there when I'm gone.
Yes, she'll be there when I'm gone
Dead sure she'll be there. . . .

Lay beside me,  
tell me what I've done.
The door is closed,
so are your eyes.
But now I see the sun.
Yes,  now I see the sun.
Yes,  now I see it. . .

What I've felt,  what I've known,
turn the pages,  turn to stone.
Behind the door,
should I open it for you?
Oh, what I've felt...
Oh,  what I've known....
I take this key
and I bury it in you,  
because you're unforgiven, too.

A thought came into my head
as thoughts are wont to do,
"My Darling knows but desists to agree
that all I've done or would do
springs forth from love and adoration,
honestly,  freely,  willingly. "

And you grow weary of heavy words,
you rebuff giving shelter.
For who would desire, in their right mind,
My house of cards, my shameful,  faithless squaler?
Only those who feign their love,  'tis all that I deserve.
A string of them--ad infinitum, inanities, vapid and absurd.

And I stand and cry aloud, thru every fated turn,
"'Tis I still here, bludgeoned but unbowed,
teaming with endearment,  unforesaken, real and proud.
Perhaps now you might agree,
that trust is all you need, trust
and a leap of faith to me. "

Had you done so, who can say
what might have fallen from the tree.
Perhaps an unseen kiss on the lips,
as lite as lite can be...
These words now are barron,
and useless as can be,
I'll dream forever of that kiss
and continue to be me.

And she became
like a cold
cup of coffee
Gone was
her warmth
only her
bitter taste
remains.

At the end of the day, we will part ways
And walk a different path to an unknown place
Painful it may be for me to even see
I'll think of it as setting ourselves free

For I cannot move on with you still here
Because within my heart is a growing fear
The fear of losing someone I really love
Someone I love but I can never have

And with this poem, I want to end it all
Sorry my love, but you never heard my call
I am sorry but now I have to let go
To end this series and start a new show

I am not anyone special to you
I can't change that, there is nothing I can do
This is farewell and we are moving apart
It is our end, but this is just my start

So So many tears,  
So much waisted time
dwelling under tormented fears,
paralyzed and comfy
in the warmth of inaction
and ennui carressing
what is thought a Soul,  
stoking a secret flame of desire
for self-deprecation
despair
and sadness
over what may have been,
what was then if only. . .
What coulda, shoulda, woulda.
Only to renounce this moment,
this now,  this present.
And every now before
and every now hereafter.
Identity becomes despair.
Existence becomes sadness.

Everything
just as it is,
as it is,
as is.
Flowers in Bloom.
Nothing to add.
Nothing to reduce.
The entire world.
Holocaust.
Hiroshima.