Sunrise colors deliver my sadness,
Have you noticed what they bring?
Peeking thoughts of labor, love, and leaving
Blur the lines
And show me gods and ghosts and greed

Every tear's a piercing needle
The masochistic indulgence I'm desperate for
Sorrow replacing all need and apprehension
I feel you with me while deprived and alone
Together does not assume company,
it's a notion I can't describe
Whispers say it means I love you,
the moon saying its goodbyes

Teach me something you've never heard of
Watch me blink into a new eye sight
Fuzzy visions yielding promise
making sure you're alright
Falling slowly deeper and deeper
You're the view behind my eyes
First thing in the morning,
last thing at night
Fill my insides with ticklish whispers
Catch my soul holding you right

If I could fold up and package all the things
I do that make you upset I would

I would carefully twist and wrap and bend and
stuff them into a grenade and set it off inside your house

The worst of me is still my best

i sat outside
in the rain for what felt like
days
and still
no matter how late it got
you did not call

I've sat on countless rooftops with dozens of people staring blankly at stars urging them to teach me something

Despite my pleas it's impossible for them to predict whether or not our little impact will render in this world

And still I haven't been able to understand why my very existence does or does not matter until tonight

On roof tops surrounded by great friends who wouldn't be here without the help of the stars aligning perfectly

The answer seems simple

My mother always warned me about
handsome boys with meteors for tongues
and grips resembling black holes
but never

About pretty girls with star dust in their breath
and tummies softer than the clouds floating in the sky.

The first time she spoke my name
my mind could not comprehend why
my palms had started to sweat
and my smile stretched across horizons.

The second time it did.

See, I'm not one to reach blindly into the stars,
but in that moment it seemed as if
rocket ships were built to discover the
galaxies in her eyes.

And I didn't mean to make this a running cliche
but that night I saw millions of lightyears into the future
and I'm convinced Saturn's rings would look just as stunning on her finger.

My horizon fades as I remember her galaxy has its own sun
igniting her days with happiness and warmth
not yet found in my solar system.

My mother always told me to look before I leap
but the gravity surrounding her entire being
keeps giving the illusion
I'll land safely.

I wish I wouldn't think of you
as much as I do.

I wish your words didn't swim around my head
forcing me to clench my eyes shut in an effort to stop
impossible images from invading my dreams.

I wish it didn't make me angry.
     That I could just accept what it is I'm feeling
     but I can't.

I hate it.
I hate you.

I wish I could read your mind.
     Find out who's behind that sheepish look
     and wicked smile.
        
I wish you didn't remind me of writing.
     That your gaze didn't resurrect the most
     embarrassing of cliches from my lips.
              
               Please,
               Give me my breath back.
    
I wish I hated it.
I wish I hated you.

You told me never to fall for a poet.
That their metaphor coated tongues
would inevitably cloud my judgement,
Yet every time you compared my smile
to a fresh bag of wind
My sun would creep out from between
the overcast and warm my bones.

You told me never to fall for an athlete.
That their cunning games were played
both on and off the field,
Yet the way you looked at me
contradicted your actions so
thoroughly you left me feeling
meticulously played.

You told me never to fall for a scholar.
That their strict lives were led by their
reason and not by their heart,
Yet every time you confided in me I felt
as though your calculated mind held
all the answers to the universe
overshadowed by your desires and
motivations

You told me never to fall.
Yet you pushed me.