I love him and I worry about him
I wonder if he’s in good health
Or whether he’s found someone new
Is he in need of a friend?
Is he back at school?
His whole world was disrupted,
But my world is distorted
So I couldn’t be the good friend
When it was needed.

Inhale, Exhale,
Sitting at a table waiting for a girl that will never arrive,
       Next to me, I watch as her easy grin melts into her mouth,
Checking my phone three times a minute for a text that will never be delivered,
       I reach out and grab her hand to feel she’s real,
Staring at my reflection wondering what part of me is not good enough,
      Her eyelids droop, but mischief dances behind her grey and red
      gaze,

I cough,

she laughs,

we kiss,

And everything around me goes up in smoke.

Oh. Why.
Simply, solely why
Why why why why why
Why why why why why
A brain filled with big, bushy questions
All summarized by why
Why this, why that
Why me
Why me
Why me
I am aware, fully, completely aware, it is not just precisely me, specifically
Yet all my concerns, are me, mine
Oh yes, selfishness
Arrogance, little piece of high-nosed nonsense
You talked and talked
About what you believed in
What you thought of
Ideals, theories
Ha-ha-ha, they laughed
As if they were somehow understanding
Receiving the message
Bip-bip
Brain in a mush of stupidness
Of ignorance
But you're worse
You are so sensible to little useless, easily-perceived reflexes
Realizing that their blank eyeballs were staring at you
Billiard *****
Motionless, waiting solemnly for their turn to shine and roll
On their gossips
And you joined their stupid cascade
Of mascarade
Because you cannot, not listen
And hide information, in the pockets of your ear
Because you were made to shut that ******* mouth of yours
Because all you said was a mess
Of words
All you were ever destined to be was chaos
You were always meant to be disastrous
And you shook the wrong things
The wrong people
The ones with enormous plastic globes just underneath their foreheads
Boundless mouths, that stretched words till the capability of visibility
And cosmic nostrils that sniffed your brains out, till all you were left was a black hole drifting into their credibility