HRTsOnFyR

Oct 2017

William Butler Yeats

Wine comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eye;
That's all we shall know for truth
Before we grow old and die.
I lift the glass to my mouth,
I look at you, and I sigh.

Oct 2017

onlylovepoetry

easier, someday. easy never.

for L. J.

<•>

first time my heart crushed, and
pieces broke off,
and rode the interstates of my body,
the very real kind,
was somewhere
in my later teens.

many breakings came
all life long later.
remember each face.
different kinds of breakings.
some mean and ugly,
but the ones,
that made me weak and mournful,
those hurts are in a steel case kept
near my left ventricle, with copies in
my sewing box
full of handwritten poems.

you want to know if there was  (like yours)
that one, that still sneak peeks
into your eye's fantasy
when you lie next to
your woman of the last decade?

thankfully, no.
but the flavors of the regret,
the highs of
pain so awful, never forgot,
are ensconced, recalled, memorialized
only in my love poetry.

touchstone ribbons and knickknacks,
I have hid so well, don't remember where,
but not the who or the when.

hear your ask, the answer plain
the title encapsulated.
but when I accidentally hear
Johnny Rivers sing
"Baby, I need your lovin'"
strangers do not understand
why this man who has
seven decades and a day of poems kept,
walks down the street weepin' and smilin',
but you will ken, as I well ken your askin'.

amend my title.

easier, someday. easy never.
ever.

5:58am
10/1/2017

Johnny Rivers Lyrics

"

"Baby, I Need Your Loving"
(originally by Four Tops)

Baby, I need your lovin'
Baby, I need your lovin'

Although you're never near
Your voice I often hear
Another day, another night
I long to hold you tight
'Cause I'm so lonely

Baby, I need your lovin'
I got to have all your lovin'
Baby, I need your lovin'
Got to have all your lovin'

Some say it's a sign of weakness
For a man to beg
Then weak I'd rather be
If it means havin' you to keep
'Cause lately I've been losin' sleep

Baby, I need your lovin'
I got to have all your lovin'
Baby, I need your lovin'
Got to have all your lovin'

Empty nights
Echo your name
Sometimes I wonder
Will I ever be the same

Oh yeah, when you see me smile
You know
Things have gotten worse
Any smile you might see
Has all been rehearsed

Darlin', I can't go on without you
This emptiness won't let me live without you
This loneliness inside me, darlin'
Makes me feel not alive, honey

Baby, I need your lovin'
I got to have all your lovin'
Baby, I need your lovin'
Got to have all your lovin'

Baby, I need your lovin'
I got to have all your lovin'
Baby, I need your lovin'
Got to have all your lovin'

Writer(s): Brian Holland, Lamont Dozier, EdwardHolland Jr
AZLyrics J Johnny Rivers Lyrics
"Rewind" (1967)

Oct 2017

Em or Finn

Done

TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!
Please be cautious when reading. If you feel you'll be triggered in any way, please don't read. Thank you.

I'm done.

Done with trying too hard
Done with sleepless nights
Done with disappointment
Done with being a disappointment

Done with hearing their voices in my head
Done with seeing visions of my abuse
Done with being around people
That just don't care

I know they care
But my brain tells me they can't be trusted
They're like everyone else
I avoid "everyone else"

I'm done with my anxiety
Done with my sexuality
Done with my gender
Done with my PTSD

Done trying to pretend I'm happy
When all I've wanted to do is cry
But crying would make others uncomfortable
And doing that in the past led to peer abuse

I'm done with my brain going on tangents
Done with having a constant smile on my face
Even though it's fake
And everyone knows it is

Done with heaving after a panic attack
Done with my abusive visions becoming reality
Done with feeling nothing
Done with being anything

Done with breathing
Done with living
Because at this point
What is there to live for?

My feelings for the past couple days. Getting help and doing my best to get better. Wrote this to relieve some pressure.

#sadness #abuse #done #anxiety #pressure

Oct 2017

Someone you used to know

Water soaked photographs

The black night’s ebbing tide
erased the only remaining hints,
the cresting long ocean swells
did not cleanse without a trace.

Adrift and lethargically bobbing
seaweed entangled teakwood box
of water-logged photographs, drowning,
surrendered from the heart of the sea

Like molted wild feathers cast ashore with the tide
to the coarse specks of rasping  sands,
Darwin's dream in an emptied  sea-bubble popped,
dissipated into its own haplessness,
bestrewn about an untrodden seashore

Washed out snapshots of life’s disregarded minutia
enchained to an ordinary forgotten Kodachrome moment
left out to the consequences of the ever fickle tides,
abandoned happenstance spilled by chance
upon another undiscovered world

The warped and bloated wooden box encasement,
hoary with swollen furrowed woodgrain s,
wearied by an enduring measureless moment adrift;

as if an ill-fated message in a misbegotten leaky bottle,
corked with marooned good intentions,
and images of disappearing dreams
flung out shipwrecked in barnacled azure glass
beneath a sky so far away

*someone you used to know

#memories #thoughts #change #ocean #fate #tide #photographs #happenstance #washedashore #messageinabottle