Random dream entry
I dreamt that we were floating on a grand ocean liner. We explored islands of ruin and decay, turning over every stone. I was leaving the country with my family. I knew you were not coming with me. I kept making excuses, that I had forgotten my passport, or that I needed my cell phone charger. I was stalling an inevitable goodbye.

Wish I had to live in another world
But shooting stars and missing,
That's all I'll ever have.
Berated for being myself
Then judged for trying to be another;
They promised the sky wasn't the limit
But encouraged me to aim for it though
And when I reach the skies they say
You know you could have jumped higher
If you tried harder
Or you could have plucked out one star
Or Now you've gone and damaged the sky
There's no pleasing them it seems.
But I never should have gauged my success
With something so fragile and within hypothetical reach, like the soft blue sky riddled with white patches and rain clouds, so
Now I will stop being me because you said- be you
Yet still, I will keep being me for myself
Self obsessed and grandiose
And I'm not even sorry.

This feeling...
Heavy...
Like a wreath bearing down my neck.
Every fibre in me seem to be at loggerheads.

My heart...
Pounding.
Each beat is a hammer
sledging away at my saneness.

My breaths...
Premature and short.
Inconsistent.
I respire full but with punctured lungs.