11:11
Praying you’re okay
Wishing I was there next to you
Wishing I could tuck u in bed and tell you everything is alright
Wishing I could kiss you
Wishing I could see ur beautiful smiles come to live
Wishing u all the happiness in life
Wishing you would stay with me forever
Wishing to see ur beautiful face
Wishing to taste ur smile
And state into ur eyes
Wishing I could wipe ur tears
When u don’t feel alright
Wishing my days
Where with u
And the nights
Wishing us a tomorrow
Filled with lights
Wishing all the tears away all the time
Wishing us a house
With both of us inside
Me hugging u tight
And us watching the sun at twighlight

She put the flowers u bought her
By her side on the floor
Turned the stove on
And closed the door
She left the blood
That dripped into the sink
Left a note next to her
Where sorrow was her ink
She shoved the hair she cut
Into a bag away
And then the poison that escaped from the devil eyes of the stove
Whispered u won’t stay
She took a deep breath
Before she started choking
And the noise of her choking
Her body crying for help
Was cut by silence

you are the air i breathe
and i feel like i'm choking

Your name is still my phone’s password
I still didn’t throw out “our” shirt
Still feel butterflies when I get ur text
Still fall asleep pretending you’re next
Still need you
Still love u
But what changed is
I can’t have u

tell me that they love me
                  and
devour my heart and soul.
                                                                   Jon York   2019

My biggest fear -----

You'll look at me the way I look at myself