If you find yourself just drifting
the anchor you seek is at your door
It's the one who stands holding it open
as you lay dying upon the floor
If you seek answers to the questions
that keep you wondering instead
Seek the one who offered their chest
for a place to lay down your head
If you find your mental telepathy
clouded by a million different voices
The one that speaks without moving lips
Is the one you need to rejoice in
For their communication is spoken
from eyes that have stripped a soul bare
and their touch remains unbroken
fingertips upon skin is not solitaire
Note to Self, not a whole
not just a half, not even a tiny part
Broken into a million pieces
A small part of another Heart

Not one thing!

Not a bottle, nor a song
nor a conversation
could 'ere last too long
Not a heartbeat, nor a rhyme
Never a marriage
not this time
Nothing lasts forever my friend!
Not even the pages we scribe!
Neither oil nor acrylic
even water based leaks
under the test of time
No ink will outlast us
No pencil could describe
either of our loneliness
completely erased by the tide
Nothing lasts forever
The sunset taught me that!
The sunrise fools us into thinking
that the sun will stay where it sat
It's why we keep on going
knowing, nothing will ever last
We die each night only to wake
pretending we forgot the past

I check my followers every day
and when the clock turns back
it makes my heart sink

because it's not that I think
that I've been unfollowed
I certainly don't think that
no, as my clock ticks backwards it's
because who I follow also declines
by each tock, according to the stats

So yeah,
every time I lose a follower
my heart shrivels inside my chest
because another person I admire
has laid down their pen to rest

If there was an Eternity I would have believed it in your gaze, however, your eyes slid shut again and I'm left dazed, at 3am. A time for slumber, a time to forget, yet at 3.01am I'm silently weeping as you rolled over, still sleeping but whispering words that remain a powerful refrain, that keeps me awake inside my brain because you simply looked me in the eye, then sighed and uttered but one name...
Rhonda
a pretty name
but, all the same
*not my name...

I only lost lobe,
My hearing is just perfect
standing to my left

No one can understand what you're going through...

Is the comment I just read!

No one can understand...*

But I can.

A single mother, forced by necessity
To be, mother, father, right and wrong
Standing beside your children
as they laid your body, so strong
into the ground... The cold ground
Gone forever, lost to sound
Lost to the screams of a heart torn apart
Deaf to the pleas to come back to us
Silently, as you lay down to rest
You left behind the part of you that was always the best.

Now, there's nowhere left to go
The empty lounge, the empty bed
The empty path to walk alone?

Where do I go now?

Now that your lying quietly
hidden from the demons
that arrested your life?

Where do I go now?

Your presence was a dark stain
upon my soul.
Why must I pay the price?

Where do I go now?

sitting on the top step
of the walk up
where dreams lay down
to sleep
I wondered in my waking state
how could marble become slate?

A little girl sits beside me
and hums a pretty tune
I start to sing a life of dreams
but darkness falls too soon

But neither of us leaves those steps

I dreamt of a different life
I said
She just nods and continues to hum
But reality is beyond me
I cry
she gives me a tissue, and a piece if gum

Dry your eyes, pretty girl
she said
Don't think for a moment
That you're already done
This is a life, for you and me,
I Love You Mum

She hummed a tune
that I could voice
We sang a song
and in the night rejoiced

It was the lyrics
that chased away all sorrow
we shared a choice
to look to tomorrow

There comes a time
when your inner self shouts
Enough is enough!
You can't change him
as his demons cry
You can't break him
But then,
your heart whispers
But, you love him
and I try, oh how I try...

two small letters just drifting
under the weight of meaning

is this ok?
does this look ok?

is so and so ok?
blah blah blah ok?

so, ok, it's short on verse
lets say, okay
or oakey dokay or
right e o then....

lets not pretend that everything
is right even when we say, hey~
I'm O K...

it's only when I say
or you to me
"are we ok?"
and the reply is
"yeah, I think we are"

that I know the world is right
this night and you're ok
and so am I

:-)

one day

it was decided

we should end

one day

was all it took

to say goodbye

to my only friend

one day

I hope we see

beyond the pain

the laughter

and the capers

one day

I hope

you pause

to reflect

and want to sign

the divorce papers

one day

One day I'll be enough
of a person
Enough to recognise
I'm worth it
One day I'll be enough
of a Partner
Enough to recognise
I could be your ever after
One day I'll be enough
of a Wife
Enough to recognise
I need no other life
One day I'll be enough
of a Mother
Enough to recognise
you didn't need another
One day I'll be enough
of an Individual
Enough to recognise
I'll never be good enough
*for you

one day, I'll sit
and explain
each and every line
I'll weave a tale
of every heretical thought
that crossed my mind
I'll describe the emotions
that clawed their way
through my chest
Alien like
and came to rest
upon a page
sage like
in its green(ness)
Exhalting in its freeness

Yes, one day I will explain
and until that day
read what you can
take what interpretation
that gets you though
the gelatinous mass
that is Life
One day, I'll explain
until then
let's pretend
we got through this
together.....

She sat with her back against the wall
    her legs curled to her chest, as tight
as a ball, with her head between her knees
     as she whispered Thank You and Please
She laid with her hand beneath her head
without a pillow and a knife under the bed
and a willingness to **** not just for her body
                                                   but for her soul.
                                   That's just how she rolled.
                 She kissed, just not on the lips.
                              She wanted to quench
                                       but took just sips
                                       and purged it all
              from her mind before she woke
                 so no memories had a chance
                                 to enhance or evoke.
She found that not everyone
                  wanted a piece of her
          that she wasn't willing to give.
Once she decided it was better
    to live, with the tiny part
of her that she couldn't let go.
It was found beneath the snow
that melted from her tattered mind
     buried beneath the weight
      of another life left behind
that tried to negate
most of her feelings
                         and all of her power.
She picked herself up from the alley
                 and stood out in a shower
                                  of rain
             that poured down her body
                      to reawaken her heart.
       She waited for clarity to depart
               but only an awareness
                     was left behind.
                She didn't see the rain,
          only teardrops from sunshine.

I'd like to be able to say
I don't know what tomorrow
will bring...
but I'm scared
Because I know exactly
what tomorrow has in store
and it's everything
that has come
in the days before
and nothing will change
nothing
and that's what scares me
the most
*the never changing everything

Jealousy is a curse
but Revenge will
invite Karma
Love will decide
a date
But the Heart will
wear armour
Hate will stand
in the corner
Death will come alone
Evil will turn up late
Fear will turn all
into stone
Empathy may appear
but Pessimism will decline
maybe Optimism will come
if Hindsight is behind
Happiness will drift by
but Sadness
will linger on
Anger will try to
**** the party
even when the last
Emotion is gone

The sky wanted to cry.
The thick roiling clouds of darkness swirling together
while lightening crashed and thunder roared
were laden with moisture,
but the sky didn't know
how to let go.

Much like myself as I sat there
staring at the same sky
All the madness swirling in the darkness,
the emotions crashing together,
my soul roaring in pain,
I sat there with burning dry eyes
Just like the sky
Just. The. Same

Words like “the tank is empty”
was lightning poison in my veins and
“we can still be friends for the kids”
was a deadly jolt to my heart.
I felt my soul being ripped apart.
My dry eyes burned,
staring into a sky
that didn't know
how to let go
and cry.

It was the perfect day for a marriage to die

it's not worth
dropping angst
over the edge
of the ravine
just so the troll
can feed
they hide under bushes
and tickle snakes bellies
for a reason
because once
they were
The Captain
of their own ship
but couldn't steer past
the rocks of their own
****
now laying deep
as rusty bones
of their own ignorance
of the lighthouse
The just want to haunt
another house
Like anything starved
it will just whither
and die
Feeding the troll
gives it good eating
Hold onto your
success, so fleeting
just cross the bridge
and let it be buried
beneath its own lies

Months of sweating
vetting every word written
Shivering over all
that remained hidden

Rocking back and forth
Recognising the demons scream
Asking to be fed more
Inside of empty dreams

Then the words, they spill
from cracked and broken lips
bleeding onto tissue paper
inking stains of fatal trips

Then comes the rush
a verbiage of torrential pain
Crouching on a backlit screen
pockmarked with finger stains

The first spike of adrenaline
fizzes inside a broken mind
The churning end to a journey
that has completely left you blind

Collapsing in upon itself
is the high that's found a low
and when the reader is gone
You wonder where you'll go?

Perhaps you'll find a new pusher
Someone else to feed your pain
Someone that will dig that needle
deep
even deeper into the vein

How many of you here counted
your last moment?
How many of you wondered if
your last breath breathed would be
the moment you would own it?

How many of you published words
as if it would be the last you write?
How many here read those words?
Hugging them long into the night?

How many of you tried to say
exactly what you feel, but failed?
How many times did you edited it
every single word, every line?
Just to post it so it was unveiled?

How many times did you refresh
the words that you have lied?
How many times have you typed
every tear that you have cried?

How many times did you say
I love you in a thousand letters
As many times as it takes you
to make the world seem better

Your poetry is as important
as the balm upon a soul
Your words caught upon a page
*are a literal bomb

Sprouting from a loamy soil
a small green leaf does toil
Working its way above the earth
Stretching out, to shake off dirt
Upon arrival, does the Sun
grant it Life, it has begun
Per single word, upon a page
it's gift to Man, belies its age
It bleeds upon parchment white
and dances in the pale moon light
as the world begins to mellow
so dies the parchment, turns to yellow
Here it comes, this digital age
where mathematical genius is Mage
Electricity feeds upon our brains
Riding currents with glittered reigns
Gifting of our temporal lobe
Emotions waiting to implode
Hark, the buzz of midnight writ
behind glass screens, magically lit
are words that are concretely bound
in empty ether, rooting for ground
Soothing are the songs of Soul
that find they're way from a hole
If nothing ever comes, but Hope
Our words are but a slippery *****

I hold a lot of anger
I hurt, I bleed
I throw up a lot
into the Universe
Occasionally, it takes pity
on me...
Sometimes I plead for forgiveness
asking questions, begging for chances
like a beggar for answers

Question? I'm happy but unhappy?

Answer (a life changer, Certainly!)
one can both be happy and unhappy,
simultaneously, side by side
the dominant one would surely overpower
it depends upon you, the mind, the body
to let the better one prevail,
for yet comes another tunnel
another difficult day to master...... (1)

I've ridden another difficult day
and the answer? as I reflect...

**Perfect

Hey! How are ya?

Yeah...
see those pretty pictures on the front of the card?
I've not really been there!
I've never really left my front yard
I've not pictured Winter
I've never been cold
I may have once been abused
and the story never got told
Buf it was a long time ago
and so the journeys ending

Pictures on a Postcard
can be so telling

Here I go again my friends
on a journey fraught with fear
I promise to send
a postcard now and then
with a picture
and a scribbled
*Wish you were here

Picture the clown
with his silly frown
upside down

Picture the big cat
that docilely sat
as you gave it a pat

Picture the main ring
where the bearded lady will sing
the unicorns, risen at dawn
will trail a rainbow on a string

Picture the strongman
holding a child's hand
when everybody just ran

Picture the journey
that involved you and me
Picture the empty seat

Now picture the chaos
the emptiness of loss
all the glamour and gloss

Picture the heartbreak and joy
see the little boy, with the toy?
It's the one thing he don't allow
others to destroy

Picture waking at dawn
understanding in a yawn
nothing will be different this morn

Picture this, the colours are wild
life is more difficult to adhere
Picture the difficulty of this postcard
*Wish you were here

are you the Lover, the one who will give me a kiss goodnight
the One who lays beside me through a restless night
the One who answers all my questions?

did you see me fall to my knees, in the gutter?

where were you when I asked you
'Why is the sky blue? What happens when
we die?'
'What happens when they die?'

Did you answer...?

I didn't hear your claim to glory
I was lost in all the gore,
and drowned in the story...

I love the way you lied to me
I can't get enough of your *******
But that's not it.

I just have to ask
one more thing

Why did you bring unending suffering, to me?
how come I can't see beyond the veil of grief
and why are we just a part of a whole, and
for the record, why did you never give me
the answer?

I’m pretty easy to love without my makeup on
I’m pretty easy to talk to without a song
I’m pretty easy to approach without any drama
I’m pretty easy to ask if I want to belong

It’s pretty easy to want to be my friend
It’s pretty easy to comprehend
It’s pretty easy to do without the trauma
It’s pretty easy to the bitter end

It’s pretty easy to walk in the light
I’m pretty easy to talk to in the night
It’s pretty easy to make it all so hard
It’s not so easy to make it right

It’s pretty easy to make you go away
To hide away from the pain
It’s not so pretty to stay so sane
It’s pretty easy to take flight
It’s pretty easy for you to see me again
at my burial site

It’s pretty easy to make me go away
It’s not so easy to stay

I hurt myself today,
To see if I still feel,
I focus on the pain,
The only thing that's real,

The needle tears a hole,
The old familiar sting,
Try to **** it all away,
But I remember everything,

[Chorus]
What have I become,
My sweetest friend,
Everyone I know,
Goes away in the end,

And you could have it all,
My empire of dirt,
I will let you down,
I will make you hurt,

I wear this crown of thorns,
Upon my liars chair,
Full of broken thoughts,
I cannot repair,

Beneath the stains of time,
The feelings disappear,
You are someone else,
I am still right here,

[Chorus]
What have I become,
My sweetest friend,
Everyone I know,
Goes away in the end,

And you could have it all,
My empire of dirt,
I will let you down,
I will make you hurt,

If I could start again,
A million miles away,
I will keep myself,
I would find a way