Giving myself a taste of pain
by imagining the day
where you happen to lose patience on me
and watching you leaving me
just so I could feel less dead if it happens.
Or maybe at least a tolerable pain.
You mean so much to me that
I know if it happens,
I will probably feel
paralysed and dead
all over again,
just like the last time
when he left.
*(h.g.)
my insecurities tortures me