You know I used to think that crying was embarrassing.
I used to hide my tears,
stifle my sobs,
bent my head
in shame.
I used to lock myself in the bathroom.
Covering my mouth to prevent any sobs from getting through
the cracked, chipped white bathroom door.
From getting through into your ears.
Where you'd scream at me to stop,
to stop my sobs or else maybe
you'd hit me again.
I used to lock myself within the cages of my bones,
my skeleton kept me from falling apart,
from spilling all of my guts and feelings onto the floor,
where you'd just yell at me to clean it all up.
My skull kept the feelings from rushing out,
kept the tears from falling down,
kept the nightmares from getting known.
I used to lock my soul away,
I used to lock my sadness away,
I used to lock myself away,
from this cruel, cruel world,
and from you.
But I found the key, lying somewhere in the dusty attic.
And I found that maybe,
just maybe,
this world isn't so cruel after all,
that it was just you who cast too big of a shadow over my world,
left too big of a mark.
I'm my own sun now, radiating my soul for the world to see.
Now you can't cast a shadow over me, now you can't put me down.
Now you can't make me feel less, now you can't own me.