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Vic Oct 2019
[20/10/19: 20:04] Me: okay so I'm kind of proud of myself. I just showered normally, and shaved without having the urge to self-harm. Like, I held the razor blade against my wrist and I could just say "I don't want this anymore." So I'm kinda happy. There are still strech marks and scars on my underarm, but they're fading, and in a few weeks/months they're going to be (almost) completely gone :) You probably don't care that much and I text you too much stuff, but I thought this might make you a little happy.
A poem every day.
15-10-19
Vic Oct 2019
And then I came out
A poem every day.
12-10-19
Vic Oct 2019
I love you,
Whoever you are reading this.
I love you,
Take care of yourself.
A poem every day.
11-10-19
Vic Oct 2019
Words fail
A poem every day.
10-10-19
Vic Oct 2019
I will follow you to heaven,
If you come with me to hell.
A poem every day.
09-10-19
Vic Oct 2019
Hey. Here's another letter kinda thing. Been writing these a lot lately. In my mind, never on paper. I don't really know how to explain what I feel anymore. It's like, I have this sense of feeling? Like I know that they're here, but I just can't seem to find them? Like I can see someone else in front of me, while knowing that they are a person with feelings and thoughs, but not being able to recognise them. Not being able to see the person standing there. Like I can see all of it, but not knowing that it's there. It kinda scares me, in a way. Like I see myself, but not me. Like I see something I was, that people still see as me. I don't know anymore. I've been trying to get my feelings out, and I still am, I just don't succeed often. This is seemingly the only way to get out whatever I'm thinking or feeling. Which is a lot, but also nothing at the same time. I feel lost, so incredibly lost. The world's passing me by and I'm behind a ******* window trying to reach it, but I can't. I never did. I just taught people how to communicate with me through that stupid barrier. It never went away. But if people don't come close to you they won't notice that, so it's fine I guess. And then you came in and smashed the entire thing with a ******* hammer. I wasn't used to opening up to people, especially not people who understand. But, I'm glad I did, and glad that you are here to listen. I don't open up to people much. Been botteling these emotions since 2006, so it's hard to open the bottle now. But I'm trying, and I can't thank you enough for being there with me. Thank you, so much. I love you, bye.
Idk how to tag these anymore, enjoy
Vic Oct 2019
I won't ask,
I already know.
I love to talk to you,
But not about this trauma though.
A poem every day.
08-10-19
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