I say I'm fine,
I'm really not okay
I say "fine"
When I know you're there
When I don't know
If you really care

I say it's okay
But really it's not
My mind's in circles
But I know you won't ever know
That's why I don't usually
Let my feelings show

I say I don't care
But really I do
My heart is longing
To do one thing
But I know you won't want to
Do it with me

I say I don't know
But I really do
Just give me some time
One day I'll tell you
Don't put me on the spot
Don't think I am dumb
I just want you to know
I do think about it
Please don't think I'm an idiot

I hide the truth a lot
And most of you will never know
Whether what I let you see is real
Or if it's just a show
Take into consideration
The things I told you today
Because it'll all make sense
If you think my way

It's hard to remember
You're Resting In Peace
Mainly because
It doesn't really seem
That you're lying under ground
With your wings fully spread
Always checking on me
You're in the sky above my head
I'm not really sure how this poem will end
I just hope you know
That you're not just my grandpa
You're my friend
You're the brightness
That made Ovaltine to start my day
Drove me to school if I missed the bus
Oh, I had so much fun
Took me to town
Always got me sweets
But don't tell mom and dad
The secret's between you and me
I love you so much
I know that you're free
I just hope you will never
Just forget me
Because I will never ever
Forget you're existence
Because you've done so much for me
I'll live
Waiting for our meeting again
We will both have wings
No more crying in the end

Now I lay down to sleep
Praying, hoping we don't meet
But every time I close my eyes
I see us together
Then I cry
You took advantage of me
Took my virginity
I fell in love, so to speak
I was soon made to realize
The **** made you different in my eyes
Later realizations
Were made to me
You were older than my dad
You weren't clean
I'm lucky no diseases were
Given to me
Just severe trauma
PTSD