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Glayz Welch Sep 2014
My mom: "I used to change his diapers!"
My mind: "Well, what are you doing for him now?!"
All these kids I grew up with, took baths with are falling in the hole of addiction and can't seem to find a way out.
Me: "I just wish you wouldn't have let yourself get that bad"
Him: "Ugh" rolls over and passes out
Like what are teens coming to?
Looking for that next high.
Sitting at Hawthorne
Maybe the next passerby
Will have a cigarette
Or at least a drag
My mommy has been in that hole
For far too long
She claims she's got nowhere to go.
I love all the people I grew up with
But I have to wait and see
If they'll climb their way up
And climb to the top with me
Addiction free is the way to be
Glayz Welch Jul 2013
There is this little girl
She's living in this big world feeling all alone
Most say she's fine
But there are those few who realize her
That she's all alone
They want to know who
Who would put her in this danger?
Who would let this happen?
They must be a bad person
I look at myself now and realize
It's really is my fault she left
It's my fault my dad isn't here now
And I should just get used to it
Some people may be on the contrary, but I believe this
It's all my fault...
I'm just a *******...
Glayz Welch Feb 2014
People consider basketball a non-violent sport
Well you should see my body
Sure I have the heart, and height
But I never seem to score
I have to pray to be put in
I feel like I'm just not good enough
But I'm gonna stick with it
Because I'll be good soon enough
I love basketball
I love my team
I love all the support
I feel like its all a dream
Thanks to all the girls
Putting up with my lack of knowledge
I really appreciate it
I love you guys
Thank you so much
Glayz Welch Jul 2013
Boys are the best
Sometimes the worst
Everyone says they need 'em,  but really they don't
Some really need them, like me
To keep me safe and tell me they love me
Tell me I'm pretty
And keep me in high spirits
Boys are the best
No they're the worst...
They're decent
Glayz Welch Oct 2013
People just don't care
"You aren't pretty"
"You aren't skinny"
"You don't look good in what you wear"
"Your too ugly"
"You're too chunky"

That's all I hear everywhere
It makes me feel bad
I may want to cry
People hate me
I want to die
Whats the point
People who tell my i'm pretty
It all is a lie
I hate my life
Other people hate it too
Glayz Welch Jul 2014
I will not go as far to say it’s suicide
But sometimes it may put it in my mind
My therapists
My psychiatrist
My home
My family
My mindset
Change should be a word
As meaningful as depression
Because to have a new therapist for every session
How are you supposed to feel?
When it seems everyone around you is just on a reel
You can pull them out at any point
But you need to think
About others feelings of joy
Lost another therapist today, she got fired
Glayz Welch Jul 2014
Nothing brought me down today
My life is still a drag
But with the people who see my way
It makes it not so bad
My dad says he wants me here
He loves me
What a joke
I've never seen the dad I had
The one the liquor broke
This is the dad my siblings know
It really hurts my heart
My step mom is just mom to them
But to me she's the evil step mother
They call me Cinderella
Lock me up
Make me a slave
Take me from my prince
Can't even look my way
I'm changing my life
Because if I do
Just like Cinderella
I can be someones princess too
Glayz Welch Jul 2013
I try to stay up every night
To keep me from the dreams of which I fright
There's a whole list of them
But this one hurts the most
My whole family is leaving
By brother and sister are staring
And crying
I am tied to a chair
Forced to watch
As they pull away
In their dark red truck
I am stuck in this chair
For all of eternity
Never to die
Never to socialize
Just sitting there and wondering why
Why did they leave me?
What did I do?
I would have fixed it only if I knew
My roommate says I cry in my sleep
She wonders why
But she will never know
The pain of being left
As some weird freak show
Glayz Welch Jul 2015
Tear after tear
Comes from my eyes
Each of them shows
That I want to die
I mean,
I know not to take my own life
But one little cut?
Will that be alright?
I try not to be emotional
I try not to hide
But every once in a while,
I just want to cry
I just wish I had somebody to tell me
Everything will be alright,
But I don't
Because nobody will ever know
How much pain I have
That I don't let show
Glayz Welch May 2013
I sit here and all i do is cry
curled up in this blanket, not knowing why
I feel different from this world
I feel invisible
When i'm in my cocoon i feel safe
As if all the pain and scars don't even exist
This blanket is a shield to all those hurtful words
Don't let them affect you, but if you do
Know you have a blanket to keep you shielded too
Glayz Welch Jul 2013
Dear little Elias,
You're still not born into this wonderful world
We wish upon you all the strength to get through
The hard parts of life
It's okay to sometimes just cry
We hope you can be honest
Through all the hardships
Life will bring to you
And have the integrity
To get through it too
We hope you do have kindness
No doubt that you always will
We want you to be trustworthy
So we can be honest too
We wish the best of happiness
We know you will always be loved
Keep faith in our heavenly Father
For he has blessed your family with you
We want you to have endurance
And for you to be respected and give respect too
We care here little Elias
HWAM is your biggest fam
We pray that you will grow up Wise
So that you can pick the choice that is right
We wish that all of these will show: Wisdom, Trustworthy, Integrity, Happiness, Kindness, Honesty, Endurance, Respect, Strength, Love, and Faith
I love that you have parents who are truly great
This is for my pregnant councilor who is having a baby boy
Glayz Welch Aug 2014
I hate to say
That I spend my days
Thinking about you
Wasting away
I wish you were here
I wish you would stay
I wish you would stop running away
I would help you
But I know you'll just say
"I'm scared of this life"
And try to take away
The thought that will stay
Think about the present, the future, today
The past is the past
You can't just throw it away
I love you Mommy
I will love you everyday
Even when you're gone
But I still wish that you'd stay....
Missing my mommy
Glayz Welch Oct 2015
I know you think you realize
How I truly feel
But I don't think you recognize
What is really real
The hardest thing for me to show
Is all my actual pain
Because no matter how I share it,
It will never go away
I cry myself to sleep at night,
To try to tire myself out
Hoping that the nightmares I have,
I will forget about
That's just the bare minimum
And I am sorry to say
That you will never understand
Unless you see it my way
Glayz Welch Oct 2015
My entire life is fueled off of
The empty promises
"I promise this is a forever thing"
"I will never leave again"
"You will always be my baby girl
"I swear you're the only one"
And that's only a few of them
The list goes on and on
It surely doesn't help when my Daddy sometimes says,
"Try not to keep your hopes up
You'll just regret it in the end"

And then there goes my Mommy,
"I wish I'd never let you in
I truly don't want to see you,
Never again"

I mean,
I know my Daddy is a drunk
And my Momma's an addict too
But I really thought
For once that
Their love had broken through
I know everybody says
My parents will always care
But if I'm being honest
I just want them to be there
If not for me,
Then most certainly
For the siblings that I love
Because in my mind
There is a list and they are most certainly above
They're my little angels
No matter what bad they have done
I will always love them for being them
All four of them, not just one.
Glayz Welch Jul 2013
Don't just sit there hating life
If you are, don't you wonder why?
Life is:
Learning new
Every day
So why hate life
When it's just a whole new experience?!
Glayz Welch Feb 2016
When you think about most fairy tales,
What's the first thing that comes to mind?
That magical kiss?
Those glass slippers?
Meeting the perfect guy?
Well, think about the things they endure
To end up with their dream lives
Evil queens,
Daunting dragons,
Even just parents who have closed minds
What I take out of these fairy tales most,
Is that they aren't afraid to cry
They don't give up
No matter what
Even after they nearly die
They've defeated their enemies
Gone through their hardships
And just moved on with their lives
Their happily after
Was not just given
They actually had to try
Glayz Welch Nov 2013
You ever feel like you're always there
But then turn around and they don't even care?
Well that's just how the worlds gonna be
People may "love"
But all I see
Is the hidden pain
It never goes away
Just a dream of life
Doesn't even strive
They just expect it to come
As does the wind
But that's not how it works
For me I just might as well quit
Glayz Welch Jun 2013
People always say forever
What they don't know is "whatever"
I felt like that once
He felt like that too
Now look at us though
We're in the ruins
We don't even talk
We don't even love
For the longest time, I thought he was the one
But now its so hard that our love is a crumb
Nobody wants it, nobody cares
Nobody knows that it's even there.
Glayz Welch Jul 2013
Keep good friends by your side
Leave bad friends way behind
Support each other
For today you are together
But tomorrow you may be far apart
Cherish your friendships
Some may fade
But they will never go away
Don't be sad
As the saying goes
*"It's better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all"
Glayz Welch Aug 2014
Don't let them in
Don't let them see
Well, isn't that the story of my life
I feel as if I have to hide
In order for my life
To remotely be alright
Treatment helped
But music has helped more
I love my life
I love the person inside me
I love my friends
Even my dysfunctional family
I need to let this girl inside me out
But I need you to help me
In order to succeed
I need positive and encouraging people
To gather around me
Glayz Welch Jul 2013
I am truly beat for the day
My mind is runnin' too many different ways
I will be back
No need to worry
I'm in a decent mood
I'm just a little lonely
Glayz Welch May 2015
It's hard to remember
You're Resting In Peace
Mainly because
It doesn't really seem
That you're lying under ground
With your wings fully spread
Always checking on me
You're in the sky above my head
I'm not really sure how this poem will end
I just hope you know
That you're not just my grandpa
You're my friend
You're the brightness
That made Ovaltine to start my day
Drove me to school if I missed the bus
Oh, I had so much fun
Took me to town
Always got me sweets
But don't tell mom and dad
The secret's between you and me
I love you so much
I know that you're free
I just hope you will never
Just forget me
Because I will never ever
Forget you're existence
Because you've done so much for me
I'll live
Waiting for our meeting again
We will both have wings
No more crying in the end
Glayz Welch Jul 2014
Do I want to listen?
Do I want to hear?
Do I want to die?
Didn’t I make that clear?
Do I want you gone?
Well, I don’t want you here
But if you’re going to be,
Let’s get something clear
Glayz Welch Jan 2014
How I think of this feeling
This so called happiness
I try to remember when was I like this?
It just doesn't seem
That it will happen again
Because they both are gone
And I mean dead

They were my rocks
To hold me up
I guess they still are
But this whole ghost thing is hard
I wish I believed that they could be there
I wish I knew how they felt
Where they are
Is it actually really hard
Because it seems like it's the only way out
But I have a family that loves me and that's no doubt
It just gets hard considering my past
But live for the future
And hope the happiness lasts
Glayz Welch Jul 2013
Everyone says I should love myself
But they don't realize this life I call hell
I'm supposedly part of West Medford's ghetto
I don't think of it that way
I've lived in it my whole life
I didn't even have the thought to ever cry
People would tell me not to be weak
Not to cry, keep an eye open when you sleep
My grandpa died and everything went down
I hated my life
I learned how to cry
And my daddy saw
How bad I wanted to die
We didn't do anything
Until I was 13
Now I love my life, most of the time
I think about my Great Gramma and I have those bad thought
She died while I was in treatment
I still can't believe it
I didn't talk to her before she died
I feel so bad for all the lies
I just lay there and cut and cry
I'm trying so hard
I even stopped cutting
But it's getting bad when I don't have anyone with me!
Glayz Welch Oct 2015
I wonder if you know
That I am doing fine
I usually don't
Understand why
Why did you leave
After promising so much
Mommy, Mommy, please
I just want one more hug

I  know it seems silly,  
But no one has asked why
Why it hurts so much
And why I always cry
Because the one thing in this world
I've wanted since I was young
Is for my bio mom
To save me from my tongue
I put myself down
I mess my world up
I hate it when I do these things
But I am not done

Mommy, could you tell
That I was hurt so bad?
That no matter what happened
I could not be saved
Unless I put my mind to it
And learned a different way
I won't be sure until I know
That I will be okay
Consistency is what I need
But it can't be that way

I miss my family
I miss the way
That we could act
Like it's okay
Because what I've  gone by
My whole life
Fake it til you make it
And it'll be alright
Glayz Welch May 2015
I don't think people realize
How much pain and sorrow
I tend to hide
I hold in the fact
That I need to cry
And I will walk around
Like I'm alright
Then I remember the sorrow and pain
That just earlier today
I had hidden away
These feelings give me
So much shame
And soon I will break
Then I will cry
Maybe some will be let go tonight
I wrote this in residential treatment a few months ago
Glayz Welch Jun 2013
I feel so great when I’m with you
When I’m with him, it’s like a zoo
With you it’s heaven
And far from it with him
He just sits around and sleeps again and again
He thinks he so perfect, he thinks so fine
I think about it and I’m grateful he’s no longer mine
I’d rather be single than be stuck with him
It’s hard just to mingle not knowing where or when
He may show up one day, but I’ve got news for him
I may want that, but I don’t want what’s within
Glayz Welch Oct 2013
I can't help but sit and think
Why this all happened to me
Why can't I be somewhat the same
As everybody who knows my name
I hate the fact that I can't have my dad
When my life just gets really sad
And my mom tries
But our relationships bad
When we try to talk we just get really mad
Treatment Foster Care really *****
Taking meds makes me feel yuck
Life is a drag
It's all getting bad
My heart has been stepped on
And thrown in the dirt
I have court Halloween Day
I just wish they would let me have my way
I'm in foster care and my parents aren't super involve, we have court for custody Halloween Day 2013 I just hope all goes well, I miss my family
Glayz Welch Oct 2013
So many people
So many days
So much time the ends so far away
Idk mostly about school. I'm in a small school. About 350 students lol
Glayz Welch Oct 2013
Just not good enough
That's all I ever hear
You don't work hard enough
Why don't you try living in fear
Just not pretty enough
I know, I know
Your life must really ****
Well it don't, it don't
These things are true
People say it all the time
Why lie?
I'm not pretty or good enough
Even for my own dad
So why bother looking up
I'm just going to get laughed at.
Glayz Welch Jul 2013
Why doesn't anybody love me?
Why doesn't anybody care?
Why doesn't anybody acknowledge me?
Even when I'm sitting right there
I bawl my eyes out every night
Wishing that I could make it alright
I thought he cared
I thought she could share
I thought everybody knew I was there
There's a boy
At my school
He says I'm fat, ugly, and he's very cruel
I hate myself
Nobody cares though
I loved him
He didn't loved me
He told me he was in love
With another girl
Who is pretty, skinny and out of this world
I hate being a lonely little girl
I'm having a really bad day.
Glayz Welch May 2013
I don't wanna remember those three terrible nights
              It was a time when I never even knew the time
There were a lot of people, but two stood out the most
               They didn't realize it, but the traumatized me
               They wouldn't leave me alone
                They wanted "hugs"
                They said they loved me, but it was clear
                No sign of affection was ever there
I don't wanna remember my messed up mind
                13 months in treatment made my mind right
I will never forget those 3 terrible nights
                Sitting there unknowing when they were coming
                All that mattered to them was the "hugs" and the drugs
I was sexually abused when I ran away poetry helps me get the fear out
Glayz Welch Jul 2013
He says he loves me
I just don't know
He says he's reliable
I just don't know
He says he'll always be there
I just don't know
He says it isn't my fault
I just don't know
I say I'll always love my daddy, but
**I just don't know
Glayz Welch Jul 2013
I'm sick of all the looks I get
Like they know I'm a treatment kid
Like they think I'm a *******
I'm sick of being underestimated
Being told I can't do it
I'm sick of being here
Not able to get out...trapped
I'm sick of being told what to do or what to wear
Truth is, I really don't care
I'm sick of being judged when, don't you know?, I'm my biggest critic
I'm sick of all those pretty girls who think they're "so cool"
I'm sick of having a ****** up life
Can't get rid of it, isn't that nice?
I'm sick of being nice
What's the point, you make me wanna cry
I'm sick of feeling, seeing, or hearing

I'm turning 15 soon
It's a sight I thought I never wanted to see
But look I'm here
I may have emotions
I may sometimes wanna die
The list could go on and on
But it's a waste of precious time
I value my life, I may even love it
I may be stuck here
I may even have dark days
But I will NEVER risk my life again
I've made it through mine and other's horrible ways
I wrote this when I was in residential treatment.
Glayz Welch Aug 2014
Sometimes I feel stuck in this excessively cruel world
Not knowing where to go
A lost, and lonely girl
My life is crawling up
But I still fall down
When I grow up
I feel like leaving behind
That thirteen year old girl
In a sixteen year old's mind
And I will be
That girl that people say
"I wanna be
somewhat like her one day"
Glayz Welch Jun 2013
I wish I could be mean
I wish the pain would stop
I wish about many other things
But I wish this would drop and die
My world is fading back slowly
I wish the voices would leave me alone
I wish people wouldn’t think I am crazy
I just wish to be alone
There are people in my head
You think I’m crazy, but I’m not
I wish you could understand
But I know that you try not
I wish I could just be me
These wishes will never come true
But all I can do is hope
That you don’t have the voices too
Glayz Welch Mar 2018
Keeping dry eyes,
And hiding to cry
Wearing long sleeves,
Leaving the blood there to dry
Knowing how to feel better,
But not willing to try
This is the epitome of many peoples' lives

Breaking your heart,
Just to keep others' whole
Keep going on,
When you can't handle anymore
Pushing yourself,
But you already know
You need help,
With nowhere to go

Not loving yourself,
But smiling through
Feeling so hopeless,
Like nobody loves you
Dying inside,
But still pushing through
Counting your breath,
Wishing to be someone new

Anxiety and Depression
Take hold of your mind
Your life feeling like
It's falling apart
You want to feel better
But don't know how to start
So you take all your medication
Trying to finally stop your heart

In the hospital room,
Waking up after days
Family crying,
Telling you you're okay
But you know you're not
Okay in any way
You still feel as though
You're wasting away

They put you in therapy
To have you start "healing"
You get put on medications
To take the edge off of what your feeling
They call it the road to recovery,
Learning again how to be a happy human being

I know it takes so long
And the journey is tough
But you meet people along the way
Who have also had it rough
You learn you're not alone
And you're on your way up
Just know there are people there for you
Forever, no matter what
Glayz Welch Mar 2014
Well, Life is pretty hard
My momma left
My daddy don't talk
And my classes are getting hard
My life's a mess
No matter what I do
Track, Basketball
I never impress you
You call me ugly and fat
Well this is how I'm made and that's that
I'm healthy and I'm proud
I just want to scream out loud
I hold everything in until I burst
I cry about it
But nobody knows
I do it in secret
I never let it show
My cover is "I'm okay" "I'm fine"
"I'm not crying I have no reason why"
But I'm not okay
I'm not fine
I have lots of reasons
Sometimes you're why
Glayz Welch Jul 2013;=PL670F87AB4B45683D&shuffle;=412
I love the cover of the song "Yellow by Coldplay" <3
Also "Angel by Sarah McLachlan" <3
Those are my two favorites!
These people are AMAZING!!
Glayz Welch Jun 2013
There is this girl
Whom which I am in love
She makes me feel special
Like i'm up above
She doesn't live near
She lives far away
But I hold her so dear
And hope she'll always stay
Glayz Welch Sep 2013
Love destroys
this fragile boy
now he needs my protection
his heart is broke
his mind is weak
all he needs is affection
Not done yet just wanted to show you that i'm back and on facebook:Glayz Welch and twitter:@1dayillhavefame
Glayz Welch Oct 2015
Love destroys
This fragile boy
Now he needs my protection
His heart is broken
His mind is weak
All he needs is real affection
You may not notice
How he will be
But you can't be oblivious
To what this means.
He loves you for you.
And you're calling him weak?
You don't deserve his love
He doesn't deserve to be
In a relationship
Where the one thing you need,
The love, isn't there
You weren't meant to be
He will do great things
And I will be there
When he succeeds
Because it turns out
I'm his big sister, you see
I won't let his compassion **** him
I won't let him wallow in grief
What I will let him do
Is forget about you
But also learn the lesson
That not all "love" is true
His heart is so big
And you left one crack
From which
I will make sure
He will bounce back
Glayz Welch Jul 2014
Sometimes I think
Could it possibly be?
That I can be happy
Being just me
And then I look around
And realize
Nobody knows me for any of the three
Me, myself, and I
Is all I want to be
Glayz Welch Jan 2014
I'm sick of being "that girl", I mean everyone knows me, but I want some guy to love me for who I am, for being different, for not being skinny or pretty like the other girls. I am waiting for the moment when God shows me to someone and they think the complete opposite of what every other guy has thought of me. People can be harsh and I pretend like I don't mind, but I really do. I wish that some guy would love me for me, but nope I have to be perfect, pretty, skinny, the whole package deal. Why can't guys realize that I have a good personality and I would never ever cheat, I may not be like other girls...but I am like me and that's exactly what I wanna be.
It's not really a poem, just a thought
Glayz Welch Jul 2014
I feel like a girl
Trapped inside this world
The towns I'm around
The people who surround me
Turn me upside down
I'm not where I am happy
Not where I need to be
Id love my new family
To be relatively close to me
Because without them
I wouldn't have found me
I wouldn't have found exactly where I want to be
They mean the entire world to me
Glayz Welch May 2015
Say you're sorry
Still betraying

Youthful, not anymore
Obvious, like you're at war
Underestimating, soon you'll see, the people you hurt, not just me

Mine forever
Or until you die
**** took you away from me, I won't believe your lies
Glayz Welch Sep 2013
Do you ever feel misunderstood?
Well with **** like mine you sure would
People sit there they don't know what to say
I go to therapy and they're blown away
People hate to look at the scars
It ain't even bad
People think its cool
Well **** that
******* are dumb
Gangsters are "cool"
***** do your math
Gangsters only drool
Glayz Welch Sep 2015
Do you ever feel misunderstood?
Well with a story like mine you sure would
People sit there they don't know what to say
I go to therapy and they're blown away
Some people sit there
And act like they care
But then a new job comes along
They quit out of nowhere
I've been in treatment all together
For over 2 years
People asked if it helped
But it's different for everyone
Different homes
Different facilities
Different faces
Different bullies
Then, when you get out
It's just a fight
Constantly asked if you're alright
Sometimes it's yes
You never say no
Because you fear that back to treatment you'll go.
Glayz Welch Sep 2015
I miss you
More than the weight of the world
When I say I miss you,
I really do
But I don't miss you now
I miss the old you
The one who always
Put her kids first
But once you were offered drugs
It took a turn for the worse
You started saying rude things
Made me lie for you
You also got mad at me too
I tried to apologize, but you wouldn't forgive
Then you left again
No trace to follow
When you I found you
You lost
A substantial amount of weight
It was then that I realized
The things people said were true
But no matter what,
I choose not to blame you
Now that I know where you are,
It'll be hard to follow through,
But only when you're clean is
When I choose to see you.
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