She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."

It’s not even about safety
It’s really hard to say but once you’ve been ***** there’s really no more boundaries in your mind between intimacy and what everyone else can have.
Someone I don’t know has seen and touched me in ways I only want my lover too.
It feels like I am an object to play with and gets thrown away when they’re done.
It’s a constant back and forth between fear and “you’ve already been used so it dosen’t matter anyway”
Like i’m a piece of clothe that’s been stained so you wear it to paint.
I’ll never forget the sinking feeling. The thoughts that went trough my head.
The moment he slid it in, I knew that something broke inside me and my smile would never be the same.

Kisses
Why bother?
With "niceties"
(Tasted like me screaming anyway)

You
Only wanted
What you took
(My unmoving body somehow begging for it?)

As if
Between my legs
Was a place you owned
(It is not mine anymore)

In hazy
Alcoholic
(All my fault)
Swings
Of semi consciousness

I
Barely felt you
Until the next morning
(I always feel you now)



(Everywhere)