My parents
Tell me to look upward
To find god
My therapist
Tells me to look inward
To find a cause
So I'm left here
Answering every multiple choice question
With "C guys, I'm fine"
Because it's easier to pretend
That life is perfect
Than deal with the fact that their efforts are worthless

My heart
Is a happy drunk
A little too open
A little too optimistic
It's over in the corner of the bar
Playing poker
Screaming at the top of it's lungs
I'M ALL IN
When it's never
To this day
Had a winning hand

My heart
Is a sad drunk
A little too lonely
A little too caught up in tears
It's over at the counter
Forcing the bartender to take its keys
Because it would rather not go home
Than go home alone again

My heart
Is a reckless drunk
A little too unbalanced
A little too impaired
It's over by the door
Making everyone nervous
A little too good at scaring people away
A little too far gone

Like you
A little too far gone
Turn your head
Shuffle away and pretend you don't notice
The breakdown of a heart
Too drunk on feelings
To know when to stop

It's the simplest words
That's the hardest to say
I try to portray it
But don't know how to say it  
These three words have me tongue tied
I hide behind slick words
Spitting out metaphors hoping you understand
They say timing is everything
I have a broken watch
Should I say it now
What if you don't feel the same
I'd surely be in pain
This back and forth affair
Is like a game
But there's not quit or restart
Once I say it, it's out
It's on the tip of my tongue
These words are like trying to chop down a tree
With an antique ax
I hack and hack almost there
Afraid which way it would land
I'll say it then have a quick escape plan
I hope it leaves you speechless
That way you don't engage
When I look at you
I have stage fright all over again
Quick look away
How am I suppose to tell you
I love you

You surely have traded with me
Some intense part of your soul
Your haunting memories impairs my senses
As i constantly drift into the dark past

I can feel your lurking darkness in my soul
Radiating gloomily
Flowing
In the deep red stream that gives me life