i'm on my bed, uncovered.
the fan is on,
it's pleasantly cool.
and my eyelids are heavy,
i'd love to sleep right about now.

hang on, what will happen tomorrow?
let's see, this could happen, or that could happen.
don't those sound fun?

i can't really stop these thoughts,
they're like mosquitos.
there's one buzzing around your head,
trying to **** the life out of you.
then pops in another thought, another mosquito.
and another. and another.
they seemingly never stop multiplying,
attacking you.
they drain the energy out of you,
and you just sit there and let it happen.

i'd love to sleep right about now.

i keep forgetting to breathe
i seem to go into autopilot mode

everytime i think about what's to come, a dreadful feeling builds up in my chest and weighs me down.

everytime i think about the things i have to do, a lump in my throat stops me from talking.

i want to talk
but the words don't come out
for i fear
you would find it uncomfortable

i want to talk
but i don't know how to say it
because my feelings
are a complete mess

i want to talk
but i don't know if you'd even appreciate the gesture
because i'm scared
that you will see me different

all i want to do is talk about how you feel
ask about how your day was
why you're not very excitable when your sister asks you to watch a movie you love
but you don't respond the way i hope you do

i don't know how to talk to you

he's feeling something like love
she's also feeling something like love
he's unsure
she's confident
he's timid
she's brave
he's scared to commit
she's willing to commit

so she asks him
he rejects her

now both he and she are unsure
    timid
        scared to commit

the future gleams bright
and i could put in effort
but i dont want to

you love me like a mother loves a child
but i only love you like a monkey loves a banana

i'm so scared i can't even take this seriously