nevaeh

nevaeh Sep 2020

now(?)

too loud music
laughing at myself
who am i now?
vapor spills
toxic thrills
where am i now?
missing him
kissing her
what are we now?
~
in a stall
haunt the halls
i hate this school
i hate them all
too much makeup
too much money
laughing at him
(it's not funny)

lost in myself

#questions

nevaeh Sep 2020

lightning

if you were
if you could
if you wanted to
then i would
if you knew
and that was it

then i think lightning
just might hit

strike me over and over

#lightning

nevaeh Sep 2020

candy girl

she's really nice
and very pretty
~
she does my eyeliner for me
she has pockets full of strawberry sugar
and candy colored hair
~
she likes music and art
and maybe even me
~
she's like bubble gum
and a ****** nose
(if that makes any sense at all)
~
she doesn't care
that i'm
too tall
too skinny
too much
~
she's just...
nice
to me
for no reason
~
huh.

maybe we can be friends

#girl #candy #sweet

nevaeh Sep 2020

tempting

i could
i could kiss you
i could love you
i could be anything
(everything)
you could ever want

but will it ever be enough?

we could kiss
and never tell
we could spend nights together
in my car
where nobody knows
what we are

i could love you in secret
just between you and me
we could be quiet and reckless
wild and free

we could keep up those walls
the ones that hurt
just do the fun stuff
or whatever works

we could be anything
anything at all
no promises
no commitment
just...

we
could just
be.

but i won't do that to you, not unless you really want it.

#love #temptation

nevaeh Sep 2020

out

one moment
im fine
the next
im overwhelmingly
dizzy
nauseous
disgusted

it isn't a choice
it's a blackout
i cant feel my fingers
i cant feel anything

just
that it all
needs to come
out

like if it doesn't
it'll **** me

i have to
𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥
to be thinner

i hate it
so much
i hate the retching
i hate the need
the urgency

i hate the fact
that my brain will no longer
allow
me to keep down
one can of soda

i hate myself
and i need every last drop
out

wow plot twist

nevaeh Sep 2020

🖤

i  l o o k  i n t o  y o u r  e y e s
b u t  a l l  i  s e e  i s  d u s t  a n d  f l i e s

i  w i s h  y o u ' d  h e a r  m e  o u t
b u t  y o u r  s c r e a m s  a r e  f a r  t o o  l o u d

i  w a n t  t o  s e e  t h a t  l i g h t
c o m e  b a c k  t o  y o u r  m i n d

i  k n o w  y o u ' r e d y i n g
b u t  y o u ' r e  j u s t  s o  d a m n  b e a u t i f u l

w h e n  y o u ' r e  s m i l i n g

i'd fix you in a heartbeat, if only i believed it could be done. ~ more old poetry, because i used to be better

#love #smile