my type of waking-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night
is at 4 AM
cold, and still
at peace
before the rest of the world
stirs up in their sleep

and if you would ask why
I'm still awake at this hour
maybe, it were my feelings that woke me up
that even my deepest sleep can't bury
the longing, the unfinished sentences
the questioning, and faded memories
the hurting, and promising lies
the hoping, and honesty in kisses
maybe, it was the same reason
that won't let me sleep
but heavy eyes betrayed me
maybe, it was the same reason
that won't let me go back to sleep
maybe, it was the same reason
that woke me up just in time for the sun to rise

and if you would ask why,
what enough reason to wake me up
early in the morning,
when the rest of the world are vulnerable in their sleep
and here I am,
at my loneliest hour,
with a hundred thoughts
and cowered feelings,
as the sky shifts its color
from the deepest to the brightest blues,
and as the sun kisses the moon goodnight,
it was you
and how the the sun rises
and how I long to spend
the rest of my sunrises
with you

What are those eyes, darling?
Is it thinking?
Is it carefulness?
Is it waiting?
Is it secureness?
Is it trusting?
Is it love?

Because when your eyes met mine—
It was promising.
It was a promise.

Love is terrifying—
Can you love someone's
deepest and darkest?
I am terrified
yet that's what love
needs to do the most—
It's what love knows best

They say the night is darkest
just before the sun rises
and I've been through the darkest of nights
crawling into the sunrise
longing for something the daylight may bring

then I walked in the sunlight
side by side, with its colors
and I had everything
but as I ran to the sunset
one by one, the colors faded slowly
and I had nothing

my heart was sinking
like the sun in the horizon
how can something so beautiful be this sad?

And the sun sets
embracing all its colors and warmth
yet the cold didn't bother me
my hand felt warm
and I looked back and saw
that I was never alone
from the darkest of nights
to laughing in the sun
from my nothingness
to the setting sun

I looked back and there was you
you have been there all along
holding my hand

In your eyes,
I saw my brokenness, its nothingness
I saw the beauty of the setting sun in your eyes
I saw you
and I saw love in your eyes
I found you
and I found love in your eyes

I thought it would hurt less
the next time around
for each time
the pain makes you numb—
but why is it that this time
the hurt is magnified?
the accumulation of all the heartaches
you've ever felt
ever since the first—
it caught me off guard
shall this pain pass?

take my hand, my love
from here on out
follow me, without a doubt
and I will take you to places
you've never been to
you've never imagined
you've never thought you ever could
because this time around
I believe, my love, that you can
go from the sad colors of the sunset
to a sunrise full of hope
go from the darkest night
of your weaknesses and fears
to the brightest morning
of braving new seas
of waking up next to
the desires of your heart,
and morning kisses, saying,
my love, you are not alone
I will be with you
from here on out
and I will take you to places
where your dreams were once lost
together—you will dream again
and I will take you to places
where your smiles faded
together—you will taste happiness
pure and everlasting
where you once lost love
together—you will go back and find
that as you take my hand
I will show you what loving truly is
how to love for real
show you, this time around
that you deserve to be loved

let me love you
with a love that is true
and that's from above
take my hand, my love