(Notes at the bottom to explain all this nonsense)

Eggman, oh Eggman
quite a driver you've become-
And an army man (in 3D)
in battleships we understood none

And Eggman, oh Eggman
we'd laugh until we died!
And when dark night came
from the tickle monster we'd hide

Thus Eggman, oh Eggman
we planted the ethereal seed.
A seed that grows forever on;
a friendship that I need

...

Jphel, oh Jphel
Please avoid the horrid stench-
of being peed on in the army,
or hit by a (freaking) bench!

And Jphel, oh Jphel
I think Max Renga laughed last-
or maybe thus did the tree.
still have pieces of my cast?

Thus Jphel, oh Jphel
I know I paid you close to none-
but carrying all of my books
still really means a ton.

...

J-man, oh J-man
athletes go down the trial,
and rats laugh a hell of a lot!
...yet somehow Campbell never smiled
              (and his many wives)

And J-man, oh J-man
I know you learned a lot;
like, 'Don't move your hands in art',
and- 'Don't talk of bad burritos' Kaneda taught

Thus J-man, oh J-man
my vacancy began...
oh how I wish to make it up
with every chance I can.

...

Phelpsy-boy, oh Phelpsy-boy
what psychotic schedules we kept!
with so many things to do
we hardly ever slept.

and Phelpsy-boy, oh Phelpsy-boy
I enjoyed nothing more than the Gov games we made-
... but perhaps the poker nights
and (endless) SC Poker D we played.

Thus Phelpsy-boy, oh Phelpsy-boy
I should have been a better friend-
to one who is always there for me
but I know it's not the end!

...

Jordan, oh Jordan
You've been my inspiration;
in work, in act, in play, in sense-
my deepest admiration.

And Jordan, oh Jordan
find that girl of yours and lift her!
but you better... BETTER!...
remember your secret admiffer.

Thus Jordan, oh Jordan
Remember that I'm near
if you ever need a hand, a hug,
or just a listening ear.

...

So Mr. Phelps, oh Mr. Phelps
march forward and make your mark-
with a mind and drive such as yours
you'll fly like Kent, Clark.

And Mr. Phelps, oh Mr. Phelps
I'll never seriously call you that
I could not stop without a Spongebob quote-
Cause we're like twins in Squidward's egg sac

Thus Mr. Phelps, oh Mr. Phelps
No matter who's got the biggest yacht in the end
you best remember now and always
Captains are Captains and _ ___

We made plans in college
We'd graduate, then teach
But, a phone call from the doctor
put those plans out of reach

I remember sitting quietly
As I heard the old man say
"You're going to have a baby"
I guess Life Gets In The Way

Life Gets in The Way my dear
Life Gets in The Way
We'll put our plans on hold my dear
Until another day
Don't worry, things will all work out
No matter what folks say
We just have to face the fact my dear
That Life Gets In The Way

You quit to raise our children
We had two, one on the way
It's funny just what happens
When Life Gets in The Way

I remember that fall morning
The news the doctor had to say
It still hurts me to remember
When Life Gets In The Way

Life Gets in The Way my dear
Life Gets in The Way
We'll put our plans on hold my dear
Until another day
Don't worry, things will all work out
No matter what folks say
We just have to face the fact my dear
That Life Gets In The Way


Time has passed, there's grandkids now
Like you, they love the beach
Kelsey, Michael's  youngest
Wants to grow up and to teach

I wish that you could see them
As they run around and play
But, Cancer took you from me
Because Life Got in The Way

I think of you, your smile
And how you'd look at me and say
We will once more be together
Unless...Life Gets In The Way

Life Gets in The Way my dear
Life Gets in The Way
We'll put our plans on hold my dear
Until another day
Don't worry, things will all work out
No matter what folks say
We just have to face the fact my dear
That Life Gets In The Way

Walking away
from the church
down the narrow lane
her sister with another

up front
she said
my mother seems to think
there's something going on

between me and you
what something?
you asked
she looked up front

some one has talked
of you and me
she said
your sister?

you asked
maybe
who else?
you smelt the blossoms

from the overhanging trees
heard bird song
from the hedges
a car went by

church goers
returning home
to lunch or dinner
but what has she said?

you asked
how do I know?
she said
but now my mother

watches me like a hawk
and if it wasn't
that I'm church going
and in the choir

she wouldn't let me out
of her sight
she sighed and looked away
what happens now?

you asked
be careful that's all
she said
what about now here

and us walking together?
she grabbed your hand
and squeezed it
and pulled you to her

and she kissed you
quickly and firmly
that
she said

that and more
and you walked
as if on air
trying to grab

the moment
trying to stuff it away
in your memory box
for later times

her sister looked back
then away again
maybe she's jealous?
you said

maybe she's just trying
to get into mother's
good books
she said

that time
in the woods
behind your house
that time I sneaked out

and we went in the woods
down by the pond
and sat and talked
and we kissed

and stuff
yes
you said
then I think someone saw us

and told her
another car went by
someone waved
you both waved back

it was a good time there
the peaceful pond
the ducks
the birds overhead

that woodpecker we heard
and you thought
of that moment
when as she lay there

in the grass
and you looked down
at her there
that Russian peasant look

about her
that love felt
and her lips
speaking soft

like wings flapping
of butterflies
you saw in her eyes
the white clouds

and blueness
of the skies.

How do I begin this crazy tale?   
Because each time my thought's' reassembled I get pale.
Here is a situation I can't bear with grace
But glory be to God I'm in a quiet place.

When this guy and  I met,
I knew there was no rooms of gossip to let,
He was almost everything I ever wanted in a man,
Still, he can't be compared to my handsome Dan
Who left me gasping for breath with a silly fan.
Life with my neophyte love was great,
An appointment wit him I wouldn't be late.
I could get there and keep smiling like a fool,
He wouldn't know about my nervousness so we'll get through.

Moments quantified in decades rushed in on us,
Yet in reality we were only months old and so rust.
Problems splashed in like a mighty tidal wave,
That our only solitude was our emotional cave.
One night I woke up so tired and sick,
I called him and he wanted a fight to pick.
 I said "Life couldn't be all sleeky and silk",
He said "Yes,  you aint so creamy as milk"
My temper flared and my mouth raced.
He said "Your voice with me should never be raised",
My heart beat quickened, I was so amazed.
And gently and arrogantly, the receiver was replaced.
I held my own receiver in hand, with mouth gaped,
Eyes bulging out as if I would be *****.
Recalling that night, my emotions I thought I faked,
But I made up my mind to show him I was fully baked.

The morning came with dew, yet at me it snarled,
I've got no option so at it too I drawled.
I dabbed my make up on with red on my eye brow,
And to what gave me my sober reflection, a bow.
I stepped out of my house located in a ghetto,
And the only noise heard was from my stiletto,
People passing by thought I was off to a show,
But my pouting lips adorned in red said it was a row.

Got a good cab and off I went.
Reached my destination and hopped out.
The driver expected his money but I aint got honey,
So I looked at him with nose wrinkled and funny.
He hurled abuses at me before he sped off,
I knew better than to waste my time on him.
I reached my guy's room and kicked the door with a rim,
He came out angry as if he wanted to sing a war hymn.

I bounced into d room with ******* galloping,
Checking the room till i found her groping.
She hurriedly dressed up and made for d door.
I stopped her and told her "You are a sorry *****".
The following between us ensued.
Him: For doing this i could get you sued.
Me: oh come on, I'm trying not to be rude.
Him: What just happened tells you I'm a dude.
Me: So that explains seeing a girl in your bed ****?
My temper rose and fell while he squirmed,
My trust and love in my face was tossed.
I told him he was ***** and dingy,
He said my love with him has been very stingy.
My resolve broke and reminded him how we met,

He said " I don't care so go to hell",
I knew i'd see him there ringing the bell.
I pushed him so hard dat lanky him fell.
He managed a subtle laugh as he was burning.
I got scared and eventually tried running.
I knew it was the last episode of our affair,
Even though he hasn't been so very fair.
" I thought you were going to be the  man I'll marry,
but you'll make me go singly to the party.
People said to me our love will indeed tarry,
and now that it has ,i aint so happy".
When he met me months later,it was for vendetta,
but I thought of him as being in a state so mental.
Yet he was ready for a show or drama
But he said "Hey ******! Your son lives with your grandma".
I broke down and wept feeling dizzy,
For I kept that one thing to him a secret.
If I had been open so far, we would have had a purpose,
But Dan's coming to take his child and propose!