The deed is done
You have succeeded in making me
Feel like sht
For your own selfish sense of gain
And strength
It hurts
Having a place for you in my heart
That I now don't know
How to deal with
Cleaning out my soul
Of anything negative
Trying to fill the void you left
With happiness

Fell in love when I was 10 years old
Never knew his awesome eyes
Would turn my heart to stone
Making my feelings turn cold
Keeping warmth with my soul
Tired of crying
Hoping he'd pick up the phone
And call me
Tell me he's sorry some more
Cause I deserve that
Nights you'd say "I love you more"
It was worth it
I knew the moment I saw you
You were perfect
In a way only my eyes could see
Cause the moment i looked at you
I knew you felt the same for me

I wish I saved that sht
But I deleted it
Didn't want to torture myself again
Love lost nobody wins
I guess you call this..
The Dead End

The silence is the closure
Hard to understand
Till you get older
Have someone treat you so bad
That it takes years to get over
Can't help but to feel sad
Tried hard to stay sober
Just to deny the fact
That whatever it was
It's over

Is there a certain length to the past?
Does it really count
The past could've been a year ago?
..Or Should've been A month ago?
Could've been a week ago?
Would've been Yesterday?
Maybe it was an hour ago?
What about minutes ago?
Before and after you changed your mind?
It was seconds ago

...and I'm supposed to just let it go?!
No.
But I will
In due time

I understand I'm unlike anybody else
Some people are good at it though
Deceiving themselves
The ones who don't want you to succeed
Would rather see you begging on the streets

When I Smoke

Makes me feel like I'm out of this world when I want to leave it
Constantly asking myself if I know who I am why won't I be it?
Scared to fail
To look stupid
Desperately trying to see into my own future
Worried that things will stay the same
Crying because I miss "what's his name"
Questioning if this habit has made me deranged

But when I'm sober I'm steadily guided by my faith
Motivated to follow a path that I know only God can create
Second guessing any decisions that I make
The burden of depression sometimes is hard to take
But I know God believes in me every morning that I awake