She gazed at him
As if he was a sunset
Not knowing
He would one day
Set fire to her heart
And leave it in ashes
For the next boy

Zero;
You
Xenophilic
Wanderer,
Vastly
Unaware
That
She
Remembers,­
Quietly
Pondering,
Ominous.
Nothing;
Maybe
Love,
Kaleidoscope
Je­alousy,
Igniting
Hatred,
Grieving
For
Everything.
Done;
Can't
Beg­in
Again.

We are all just taking steps
Toward whom it is
We long to be:

We're only trying to be ourselves
The best we can
Full, whole,
Unbroken--

I do not think
my journey
Is so very Different
from Yours.

They say Hell is a place
No one wants to go.
They say it's fiery hot and torturous.
Some say it's Purgatory, someplace I should never want to go.

But for some reason,
I want to immerse myself in "Hell".
I want to feel the heat, the burning sensations.
I want to be somewhere other than here.

They say Hell is where the bad people go,
The ones that committed crimes and it's their punishment.
I don't see Hell as a punishment, as Purgatory.
I see it as it truly is: an opportunity.

I'd like to visit it one day, if it even exists.
I want to see if it'll melt this heart of mine.
Give it warmth and touch its core,
Allow this numb heart to feel once more.

I'm sorry I'm not her.
I will never have marble skin you cannot resist touching or deep blue eyes that make you swim in them.
My eyes made you drown and my skin was always too cold for you.
You said I was just a source of stress yet here you are with her.
My armor is cracking with each sad look in my direction and each drink reminds me of you begging me to stop.
I can't enjoy it anymore.
I will never be enough for you and I'm okay with that because you will never be able to handle me.
I am a hurricane of a girl.
She is a mere drizzle, as are you.

i look up at the sky
in search for stars
but instead,
i see darkness.

darkness has concealed
all the bright spots.
they use to give me hope,
but now they're gone.

if only
i could take away the darkness
and bottle it up.
so that i can see stars
up and shining again.

It began when I skipped lunch
When snacks became meals
And food became calories
I stopped standing and began to kneel
It started with pictures on blogs
Collar bones, thigh gap, dead eyes
Worshiping goddesses who never eat
Whose smoke curls as easy as their lies

It was about being weightless
Being skinny, being happy
To wither and fold into myself
"Somebody please look at me!"
Now my eyes are heavy
I have to hug the wall to get anywhere
Colorful bruises bloom on my legs
The room's spinning, black spots everywhere

I'm like Atlas, holding up my world
With shaky hands, bloods spattering everywhere
Step by step I keep moving, it's never enough
I'm killing myself over what size clothes I wear
Two years ago I wanted this
Asking Google a list of excuses not to eat
Now I think I'm dying, looking up heart arrhythmias
Because I can't follow a single beat