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 Aug 2019 farthest star
pearl
they talk about the skeletons in closets
but nobody talks about how they were bodies
i’ve got people in my wardrobe
stacked up like they’re old hobbies
people i’ve hurt
people who’ve hit me
people who deserved it
people who couldn’t see
digging graves for memories
these people were small infinities
i’ve got to go to therapy
spill my guts to a stranger
maybe they’ll even tell help
create healthy barriers for me
or maybe it’ll show my reality
that something isn’t completely right
upstairs in my soul
my mind is so scary at night
"Red nails, like roses
Purple fingers, flowering,
Bruises fed to bloom,

The more you let the darkness grow,
the less there is of you."
"I just want all my secrets back, I don't want anyone to know anything about me anymore."
"I am no longer looking to escape my darkness, I'm learning to love myself here."
"Mom why do the best people die early?"

                         "When you're in a garden, which flowers do you pick?"

"The most beautiful ones."
if you went away tomorrow
I hope you’d take my love away with you
as your body returned to the dust in which it came
I would pray your last thought would be my love
and when you closed your eyes, I hope you’d feel my lips
the kisses that translated a love I couldn’t speak

my mouth can never say all that you mean to me
my body can never show all the affection I feel
because I’m everything I am today because of you
d.c.

inspired by ben platt
 May 2019 farthest star
maddy
lying to myself
and lying to you
saying I don't love you
but oh boy I really do

heart strong stays strong
throughout the day
but as night crawls in
my tears come out to play

my body aches for love
but only if its yours
and waiting in this grey zone
is covering me in sores

I feel like I'm in pain
with all the feelings I clutter
but theres nothing I can say
because your heart will never flutter
You were my North Star -
With your light now gone
How will I find my way home?
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