Gracie Anne

Gracie Anne Jan 2015

What do mirrors see
When they look into themselves?
They see an unending
always-changing
maze
of themselves.
Full of
twists and
turns that
will never be explored.

What do people see
When we look into themselves?
We see a
never ceasing
always growing
labyrinth
of ourselves.
Full of
secrets and
pain that
will never be uncovered.

So, my dear, I ask you again:
What do mirrors see
When they look into themselves?

Jan 2015

Ky Blackstar

guilt of recovery

I feel guilty for getting better while you are getting worse
I feel guilty that my scars are fading while yours continue to bleed
I feel guilty that I can turn off my thoughts while yours still keep you up at night
I feel guilty that I cannot help you like you have helped me

#thoughts #bleed #insomnia #guilt #scars #cuts #recovery #better #off #worse

Jan 2015

Mikayla White

Untitled

I never understood why I would walk around with a mask called a smile and pretend to be fine while I visibly was not

I never understood why my chest would get so heavy with emotions that I could not breathe or leave my bed for days upon days

I never understood why my image in the mirror would be so haunting that I would cry when my mom would remind me it was just a reflection that was distorted

I never understood why my physical pain would be easier to cope with than the emotional damage I had endured

I never understood why the demons in my head would tell me to do such unthinkable things to myself on a regular basis

I never understood why I was never good enough for myself no matter what I would change to better myself

I never understood why I wouldn’t let myself believe I had a problem when I so desperately needed help

and I don’t understand why I was so ashamed of something that wasn’t my fault but I do understand it has been a few years and things get easier

and I understand that without everything I felt, I wouldn’t be who I am today

#poem #depression #hope #new #recovery

Jan 2015

Kat

To 12 year old me

Little girl,
you are not the scars on your thighs
or the mocking stares from "friends."
You do not live to be there for others;
you are your own galaxy, beautiful-
unknowable even to yourself sometimes
and that is not entirely a bad thing.
As you grow up,
you will learn to appreciate
the complexity of your solar systems
and you will not need to open up your veins
to see the planets hiding underneath your skin.

Little girl,
this pain will not last forever
and if I could, I would go back to you-
little girl sobbing naked in a bath tub
she turned red with her own blood-
and I would lull you to sleep,
spare you the tears and the scars and the ache.
But your pain will teach you lessons
that no happiness could have;
one day you will rise from the ashes
like a phoenix, wings held high,
engulfed in the flame of your former self.
And you will be so proud.

#self-harm #idk #recovery

Jan 2015

axr

I don't know her anymore

That girl who locked herself in the room
took out a blade and stained it on her skin

I don't know her anymore

That girl who shoved ******* down her throat thinking that she would be skinny

I don't know her anymore

That one who showed her scars to the ones who cared.
And laughed at their advice because she thought hurting herself was the right thing to do.

I don't her anymore.

That girl who saw herself in a coffin,planned out her funeral because she wanted to die more than anything else.

I don't know her anymore.

That girl who saw only darkness in the tunnel,threw herself in a shell and hid from the world above.

I don't know her anymore.

That one who refused to chase her dreams.

*I don't know her anymore.

2012 and 2013 were tough years for me. 2014 was the time i spent trying to recover but gave myself away to bulimia.
i ain't taking that kind of **** in 2015. For real, I am ready for anything that life throws at me. It will be hard,but i will rise.
also, by May I will be one year clean from hurting myself and bulimia.

#pain #bulimia #selfharm #positivity #recovery #clean