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 Nov 2014 Fallen Rebel of Eden
Q
I hate the days away from school
Nearly as much as I hate school itself
Because when I'm away from the expectations
I can't even lie convincingly to myself.

I can't slap a smile onto my face
I can't laugh until I cry
I can't get rid of the emptiness
That clings desperately to my life.

Eventually, I simply sit and stare
Memorizing the popcorn ceiling
Pathetic, by my own right, and
Too far past merely empty
Yet, for some reason, still trying.
~
      
           If
            I
        Could
         Find
           The
            Rhymes...
    Would
         You
             Be
                Mine?

~
Just wondering....
And so the green balloons did grow
Inflated, nurtured over time,
This tree of air
Nitrogen,
Oxygen,
Carbon
Dioxide,
Argon,
Traces of other gases too,
Out side was warm
Internal temp minus triple degrees,
What had been barren branches
Now sustained as these
Strings matured forth
Buds of latex and rubber grew,
Liquid air exhaled as the buds nurtured  
Air expanded with warm the green balloons
Grew
&
Grew
Sprung forth in to life what once was
Small, now expanded fuelled by the
Cold fuel of the tree of white,
In the winds they did gesture
As if dancing putting on a show
Tree,
Branch,
String,
Green balloons flourished there veins
Feeding air anew,
Blustery winds picked up
Strings did snap, green balloons did
Float away, drifting upon high
Into a sea of blue,
But as seasons change,
Green balloons became loose
Many floated away to places new
Those that did not,
Deflated,
Depleted,
Exhausted,
Nourishment of air, no longer green ballons
Phenomenon's of gases changed
And green faded now this tree of air
Brought forth new shades of
   Yellows,
Purples,
Black,
Oranges,
So these colours did fall from the tree,
Floating not as before,
They did descend, slowly to the floor,
Biodegradable. they did fade
From view, not what they were before,
The life cycle of these green balloons
The tree of white grows evermore cold,
For seasons change and green balloons will
Grow again next spring  floating in the air once more.
All balloon poems/writes can be found by  balloon-series
Nature science & balloons
 Nov 2014 Fallen Rebel of Eden
Q
I don't know what I want to do
Or where I want to be
I don't have a talent to present
Or any hidden, untapped meaning.

I've a million stories I won't write
A thousand words I'll never sing
I've ambition I'll never fulfill
A hundred dreams I won't attempt to reach.

The world is filled with kids like me
Just falling
          Falling
             Falling into harsh reality.

I don't have motivation to do so much as breathe
Without a billion carcinogens in my bloodstream
I don't have courage to change any issues
Or even to get myself completely clean.

I've dozens of wishes I'll never acknowledge
Tens of millions of amazing, impossible things
I've tons of cravings I'll never bother to sate
Billions upon billions of ignored yearnings.

The world is filled with kids like me
Smile then cry when no one's looking
Earth is overflowing with trash like me
Break then repair; lather, rinse, repeat.

I don't have a personality that will make me affable
Or money to buy the friends I won't make
I don't have a face that invites company
Or the right words to make someone stay.

I've pitiful little aside from boredom to offer
Save violent, unstable considerations
I've nothing to give and nothing to take
Except fake, plastic conversation.

The world is filled with kids like me
Chained with a promise to life and living
The world is filled with **** like me
Not quite alive, not quite surviving.

Promises and promises and promises and lies
Survival and survival and ten billion failed tries
Cross my heart, cross my fingers, and hope to die
Deja vu of a hundred or two that have lived this life.

Smiles and frowns and laughter and tears
Slamming against the puzzle of earth, desperate to fit
Useless and exhausted and unchangeably nameless
Selling souls to life with a promise to live it.

The world is filled with kids like me
Whatever happens, come good or bad, we'll be here
The world is brimming with tumbleweed dreams
Cloudy skies, cloudy eyes, but the mixture is clear.

I've sworn to let them all go before I consider leaving
I've prayed they'll release me in a decade and felt so guilty
I've promised never to hurt them like I've so recently seen
But I'm marking down the days as they morph into weeks.

The world is filled with kids like me
Jittery and anxious for the day they are free
The world is crammed with lying, stinking **** like me
Bound with promises of survival and surviving.
 Nov 2014 Fallen Rebel of Eden
Q
What.
Am I doing here?
What.
Am I living for?
What.
Is my incentive?
What.
Are my ambitions?
What.
Can I do?
What.
Is there to smile about?
What.

What.
-
-
-
I dunno.
"Idek, bro."
The answer won't be written
Anywhere I go.

What.

Who, when?
Why, how, where?
I couldn't possibly answer and
I couldn't possibly care.

It's not for everybody
That thing we all do.
Sometimes it's for everyone-
Every person but you.

What.
.......
 Nov 2014 Fallen Rebel of Eden
Q
I wake as your  friend                                     You wake as my lover
I speak as your lover                                       You speak as my friend
I act as your possession                                   You are my possesion
I rebel as your cover                                        A means to an end
I hurt for your compassion                             You live for my acceptance
I injure for your respect                                  Though it's never been withheld
I confide for your emotion                              You crave my direction
I give and you collect                                      Never will you rebel

This is madness                                               This is Sparta
This is insanity                                                This is the price of exellence
I can't be everything for you                          I am your everything
You can't be everything for me                     I am magnificence
You treat everyone the same                         I am fair and righteous
As a friend, yet as a lover                              And yet you seek more
And it's a cruel, cruel game                          Dare you grow capricious
From your twisted love, no one recovers     You'll become one I abhor

I am done                                                       You are confused
(I am never done)                                          And I will not calm you
I am sick                                                        As I am amused
(But I'm not tired)                                         As I drop little clues  
I will run                                                        You'l­l never leave me
(I won't run)                                                  But I'll abandon you
Because I love you                                        You'll always need me
(A better word is 'desire')                             And I'll never need you

Let me go!                                                    My grip is vice-like
(But you're not holding me)                       I'm not ready to let you go
Bring me back!                                            If I lose you, 'my dear'
(But I never left)                                          I must find yet another 'beau'
Love me only!                                             And I've not the time to put effort
(But you love equally)                               In little minions like you
Push me away!                                          I've not a care to give for
(Or bridge this rift)                                    You insects I never knew

Please, disappear                                       I am your torture
One day you'll understand                      But I am your salvation
That the twisted way you love                 I am your executioner
Could coax death from any human        And I am your redemption
Please, disappear!                                     You'll wish me dead forever
Though I'll weep when you're gone        You'll wish me dead I know
I know sanity will return                          And you'll wish yourself deader
And I'll eventually move on.                    *When away I finally go.
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