I will be posting poetry, excerpts from my novels, and other things :)

https://faelune.substack.com/

I grew up
watching my mother
marry a man for safety.
I called him "papa"
though we shared no face.
I saw him struck,
while my brothers hid.
At eighteen, she finally fled,
but not without shame.

My childhood vanished,
believing love was meant to last.
She should have left before life started
but duty kept her back.
Young and alone with a daughter,
trying to make amends for the past.

My dreams are haunted by idyllic promises—
Who is my ghost with the siren voice?
The moon knows; I too, cannot shine alone—
Who is this light reflecting on my soul?
My heart yearns for a movie-like story—
Who is my co-star when the credits end?
Is my heart truly stuck on waiting—
or did It already choose someone unattainable?

Constellations of expectations
My shackles— my only relations
A walking canvas of self-destruction

I lay alone in my bed
fireworks over my head
secret wishes, quiet prayers
another year to be a surviver

The words build up inside like a tumor,
ignorance will make them mean—
spare my heart, spare my lungs.
The song "What If" plays on repeat.
Regrets of the past, fears of the future, anxiety of the present—
a tumor never leaves.
Healing is temporary.
Coughing up blood, letters interlaced in red—
it's a disease to keep it inside,
a curse to let them fly—
I must write outside of my skin.

I do not hate growing older
I hate the failure's reminder
Turning into another number
No achievements to remember
My twenties are almost over
My childhood still need closure

How I wish to be born as one of his tears—
So I could travel down his cheek,
And die on his lips.

I want to fall in love, I do,
but I know it'll make you cry
when I don't say it back.
You'll still smile,
say "It's fine,"
but I know it's not—
I can't even say it to my mom.

I want to fall in love, I do.
I know it'll feel easy,
right from the first touch,
but you'll be left picking up the pieces
of someone who self-destructs.