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quintin sinclair Oct 2017
Ons kyk almal daarvoor.
Ons wil almal dit hê.
Ons het almal dit nodig.

Maar die waarheid is.
Dit bestaan ​​nie eens nie.
Want alhoewel ons wil glo.
Dat ons hier vir 'n rede is.
Die feit is dat daar geen rede is nie.
En dit.
Is die antwoord.
quintin sinclair Nov 2017
STOP IT
WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME WORLD?
EVERY SOUND IS DEAFENING
MY MIND GOES NUMB
EARS START RINGING
VISION GOES BLURRY
DEATH STANDS DOWN THE HALLWAY
A STARING CONTEST
MY PARENTS TURN AND TELL ME I'M WORTH NOTHING
I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW
I'M FALLING, DEAR FRIEND
WON"T YOU HELP ME RECOVER
INSANITY TAKES MY MIND
MY AIRBAGS TWIST AND WRITHE WITHIN MY CHEST
MY DRUMS POUND BLOOD THROUGH MY VEINS
SCREAMING IN MY EAR
ANXIETY TAKES OVER LIKE A MONSTER
OH FRIEND, WON"T YOU PLEASE LIFT ME UP?
quintin sinclair Oct 2017
Blinking is the hardest Thing.
For with every blink.
There is a breath.
And with every breath.
There is a lesser chance of death.
A lesser chance of life.
A lesser chance of that release we contemplate at night.
A lesser chance of what we seek.
A lesser chance of everything we need.
Living. Is the hardest Thing.
quintin sinclair Nov 2017
Spirals in my lungs.
Like vultures in the sky.
Trying not to fall.
Like grasping onto air.
You stand and watch.
But that's okay.
Because I want to fall.
Falling makes me happy.
Falling gives me hope.
I need to fall.
Fall in love with you.
quintin sinclair Oct 2017
Please don’t cry little one.
I see the worry on your face.
Who ever has done this.
They are a disgrace.
To have caused you so much pain.
Your precious eyes settle in fear.
They tell me to stay away from the tears.
But I won’t leave
No matter what.
I will stand by you.
Through thick and thin.
For you are my one and only kin.
So please don’t cry little one.
My best friend/significant other is very upset today and I don't know why. I wrote this poem for them, although they'll probably never see it.
quintin sinclair Nov 2017
I'm so glad that I have you.
I want you to be glad too.
No, I know you're glad.
I want you to be happy.
I see your 'smile' everyday.
But I want to see you smile.
I won't give up until it happens.
I want you to be glad.
quintin sinclair Aug 2018
her beauty
controlled the sun itself
for with every smile that shaped from her mouth
came a new ray of light from the atmosphere
her lips
released pure gold
for with every word which was spoken
your ears would squeal with delight
her eyes
gifted your soul
for with every look she gave you
your heart would swell larger than the universe
her everything
was perfect
yet i pushed it away
within my desperateness
goodbye to her
quintin sinclair Dec 2018
im sitting here
knife in my chest
crying out in pain
im not sure i can take this

im sitting here
wondering what
i did wrong
tears roll down my face

youre sitting there
hidden from my sight
not leaving your shell
and keeping to yourself

this knife in my heart
is twisting and turning
i sob through the pain
for there is nothing i can do
quintin sinclair Aug 2018
"hey" you text me
so casual
so calm
but even before a hurricane
the sun still shines
i read that you have someone new
someone real
someone there
my heart launches into space
desperately attempting to escape the pain
but pain travels at the speed of light
and my heart is not nearly fast enough
"it's okay" i tell you
because i understand
i really do
that one cannot control whom they love

although we never 'made it official'
i still felt as though we somewhat were
but when he came into your life
suddenly his name was in your beginning page
yet mine had never been
and in your book you wrote
that he made you "the happiest you'd ever been"
yet i was never in your book
sometimes i feel as though you were ashamed of me
although i know it isn't true

the day you told me
i almost couldn't stand it
for days i sat in sorrow
looking into oblivion with a vacant stare
i wanted to cry
and some days i did
but my mind has a way of protecting me
and it stopped my emotions before they got too bad
so now i just sit and feel fine
or feel nothing
what is the difference anyway
quintin sinclair Oct 2017
Knock Knock Knock*
Hello?
Is anyone home?
I would like my feelings back if you still have them.
I know you tend to lock feelings away.
But I need mine back.
It’s just.
I feel.
Numb.
quintin sinclair Jul 2018
i barricaded the gates of sound
and for a moment
just a moment
all was calm
all was gone
nothing ceased to exist
and in that moment
death felt closer and friendlier
than it ever had before
quintin sinclair Nov 2017
Is it possible for me to be without you?
I can't survive without you.
I walk through the halls searching for you.
When I'm with you,
I need to be touching you.
In any way possible we must be touching.
It comforts me.
You fill that empty space where happiness must be.
You make me happy.
You make me feel like I'm alive.
So no, it is not possible for me to be without you.
I just go crazy.
quintin sinclair Oct 2017
I did not know if she’d be alive,
The next time I would speak to her,
Yet all I did was laugh.
Because of my sickened mind.

“Why are you laughing?” they ask.
I don’t know. I just am.
I don’t feel much emotion.
I feel fear, anxiety, anger, and every once in awhile,
I taste a bit of what I used to call happiness.
But that’s not too common anymore.

O neverending shadowed abyss,
O gloomy depth of nothing,
What do you want from me?
Do you plan to shred me,
From my last chance of hope?
Or do you believe, as I do, that it’s already forever gone?
O darkened soul,
Sadly, I believe you are right.
She
quintin sinclair Dec 2018
She
i've fallen into love
it engulfs every inch of my body
i feel it with every atom of me
its irreplaceable

shes told me she loved me
i thought it was true
she says she lied
im not sure what to believe

shes fallen out of love
if was ever there in the beginning
she tells me shes not ready
to talk about what happened

shes running far from me
i wish i had a chance
because i still love her
with all of my heart
quintin sinclair Nov 2017
Stop
Don't do this to yourself
The more pills you take
The shorter you live
I cant live through this life
If you leave me here

You're ruining your body with these petty meds
They take away a part of you that I need most
Your emotions are what matter
But you are throwing them away like paper plates
So stop
Because you're the only one that can stop you
And I can't sit back and watch you slowly **** any longer
quintin sinclair Oct 2017
So take me if you want to
Because I cannot carry on
Fighting is too difficult
And I am not too strong.

So take me if you want to
The love I once felt
Streams down my cheek
As you take me with no guilt.

So take me if you want to
I know you won't feel pain
I know you will forget me
For this all was just a game

So take me if you want to
Although I trusted you
Although I gave you 'love'
Although you're not the one
I thought I knew.
quintin sinclair Oct 2017
I Am A Teenager
mY moutH iS A fauceT
My Mind Is A Different Somebody
whO I havE yeT tO meeT
I Strive To Succeed
iT striveS tO faiL
I Strive To Work Hard
iT striveS tO givE iN
I Strive To Be Who I Want To Be
anD alL thaT minD oF minE doeS
Is Stop Me

I Am A Teenager
yeS I spenD alL daY oN mY phonE
But No It’s Not Because I’m Texting My Friends
it’S noT becausE i’M ignorinG yoU
I’m Just Trying To Distract Myself
froM thE constanT paiN piercinG mY thoughtS
Letting Me Believe That I Won’t Make It
Past Graduation
lettinG mE believE thaT lovinG myselF
isn’T possiblE
I Try To Stop These Thoughts And Move Forward
anD alL thaT minD oF minE doeS
Is Stop Me

I Am A Teenager
starvinG foR acceptioN
Dehydrated Of Happiness
mY motheR
Holding Cake And Water
buT noT carinG foR mE
For Fear Of Too Many Calories
anD noT wantinG tO triP anD falL
I Beg For Her Truthfulness
anD alL thaT minD oF herS doeS
Is Stop Her
quintin sinclair Oct 2017
quicK
                                       before you click too mucH
                for they can disturb with slightest toucH
                 for they can see everything you thinK
                 and they control anything you drinK
                     they need you to “try your besT”
              so they can make you pass the tesT
               the test that leads you to your lifE
               the test behind you with a knifE
                       so you can finally be freE
                   listen to these simple threE
ruleS
                                       number onE
                                       stay in linE
             listen to their selfish crimE
            listen to the way they saY
                   it’ll be a happy daY

                                         number twO
                                  don’t complaiN
        or it just might cause you paiN
             or it just might be the daY
        you would never see agaiN

                                      number threE
                                     pass the tesT
        so you can finally be the besT
       based upon the way that yoU
                          pay attention tO
these lieS
quintin sinclair Aug 2018
that day
when the sun shined through my curtains
and the birds chirped
it seemed like any other day
that day
when i sat in the car
riding towards my friends house
it seemed like any other time
that day
when you messaged me
telling me how you felt
everything stopped
that day was not like any other day
quintin sinclair Oct 2017
Click.
Click.
Click.

Click. Click. Click.
Click Click Click.
Clickclick.

Click.*

A heavy arm stretches outward.
Reaching forward with fatal touch.
A feather glides upon the skin.
It’s sharpened claws drag it in.
It curls and twists upon the sleeve.
It says that you don’t have to breathe.
It says that you don’t have to leave.
It’s crooked ponds begin to seethe.
It pulls you in with every blink.
As you fall down the bathroom sink.
You press it’s talons with more force.
Hoping to go with no remorse.
You stare directly in its eye.
And say you’re not afraid to die.
Then suddenly you are no more.
You empty out upon the floor.
And that is just how fast it ends.
Before you can even end the-

....but if you wait.
For just a moment.
For just a second.
But if you wait until it grasps your soul.
And whispers it’s your time to go.
Then maybe you can find some life.
....Instead of going with a knife.
quintin sinclair Oct 2017
.i hate my life
..i hate my life
...i hate my life
….i hate my life
…..i hate my life
…...i hate my life
…….i hate my life

,and now,
,the weather,
quintin sinclair Nov 2017
My gut is raising above my lungs
I feel it in my throat
I stayed up far too late last night
My balance like a ship
On the water in a storm
I glance around to look at the glowing eyes
Peering upon me
My body stumbles through the hallways
I take another breath
My eyes flicker
Pulses emerge from my chest
I feel like ****
Yet I do not regret it
I needed the escape
I needed the release
I needed to feel

— The End —