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Ammar Sep 2017
So last night
My mind was littered
With thoughts about you
And my sleep suffered
As it always does
Shouldn't you be jetlagging
Then why am I the one
Who can't sleep
I fell asleep at 5 a.m
And dreamt about you

Even when I'm asleep
Your thoughts won't go away
Well
I called you
In my dream ofcourse
And you picked up
I was once again blessed
With your voice
You weren't too nice in your tone
Slightly mad
Perhaps I shouldn't have called
I kept repeating
"How are you "
"Take care of yourself I miss you"
You wouldn't say a word
And so I said
"Alright I'm going now"
And as I cut the call
I heard you say
"Stay"

And so I called you back
You were crying
Hurting
Missing me too maybe
But then you spoke back
I told you even in my dream
To come back to me
A little sooner
And in that moment
In my dream
I even stole a glimpse of you
Hazel eyes
Oh those ******* hazel eyes
I wish I'd never wake up
I wish I'd have died in that sleep

You told me
you were going to sleep
And that was when I said
I'm just waking up
Yes I keep track of time
The hours ahead and behind
You put down the phone
And then
I saw in my dream
That you hid your pain
You cried
with heaviness in your heart
Did you miss me?
I do not know
But you cried
And when your mom came
You rubbed your eyes
With your soft hands
Put a straight face up
And just stopped
Just stopped crying
I do not know how you feel
I do not know how you are
But I pray you're ok
And that you come back to me soon
Perhaps you'll never
Perhaps you found something better
But baby come back to me soon
Oh come back to me soon
Ammar Sep 2017
So there was a first time?
Did you lie?
Are you making this up?
Did you really love him?
Oh so just good moments you say
Hmm

Amnesia hit you too soon baby don't you think

You say you don't remember love
When love embraced you
With all your flaws
And called you perfect

You say you don't remember love
When love came to see you
At 12am in the morning
You were leaving love behind

You say you don't remember love
When love stayed up nights
And walked you through days
When you'd remember hurt

You say you don't remember love
When love was all you had
When everything else left you
To cut your wrists in the bathroom

You say you don't remember love
When love came
To free you off Xanax pills
When that was all you ate

Yes baby love hurt you
And love almost killed you
Yes love was good moments
and love was bad times too

Love even ****** up
But that's what love is
That's who love is
Accept it
Embrace it
Live it

And stop lying to yourself

Love was there always
Even when you blocked love out
Even when you sent love away
Even when you told love to leave

Love was there then
And
Love is here
Now

The second time you say ?
Oh really

Love was your first kiss
Love was your first love
Love was hugs and kisses
Love was letters and journals
Love was long nights and no days
Love was happiness and hurt
Love was breakfast and lunch
Love was donuts and cookies
Love was T-shirts and jeans

And don't you dare
Oh baby don't you dare
Don't you disrespect love
Because love was nothing like him

This isn't 2013
And love isn't him
It never was him
Or if it was then you lied

This is 2015
Now say I'm stuck in time
But I didn't do half of what he did
Not one fourth of what I could

This is 2017
And I won't do anything
And I can't
Because love still loves you

Love still loves the **** out of you
And you label love as toxic
Because love was mostly far away
But never too much
Love didn't always have arms
But love always had a heart
Love always saw your beauty

The second time you say?

Well ****
First kisses don't happen 2 times

Moments you say ?

Well ****
You can't relive them without love

Open your eyes baby
See love
For love loves you
And you love him too
**** this
Call them mere memories or moments
But baby it was a lifetime
It was infinity
Ammar Sep 2017
Hot black coffee
The smell of popcorns
Corner seats
&
You and I

Still fresh memories
Of
Sunsets from when we lived
//ronay waalon se kaho unka bhi rona rolien, jin ko waqt o halaat ne ronay na diya//

Miss you
Ammar Aug 2017
Is this what it has come to
You and me....us
Now you label me a "previous"

You see baby the thing is
When there is a previous
There are doors open for a next

And although I am aware of you
I'm aware there can't be a next
It hurts to be thrown back

Thrown back into your past
All the way from forever infinity
To a petty "previous"
//Don't make me wait so much that it kills me//
Ammar Aug 2017
Her
You are red blue and colorful
with that green hijab of yours
You are ice cream and kulfi
burgers and fries
You are the edges of that pizza
(the extra cheese was mine)
You are journals
and diaries
poetry and prose
mascara and eyeliner
books and novels
gulab jamun and chocolate boxes
music and sunset
tip toes with kisses
hazel eyes
crazy smile
stretch marks (tiger of mine)
you are apologies and cries
sad and destroyed
warm and silent
hurt
you are hurt too

you are all of my time
either 2 hours ahead or 12 behind
you are more than a memory
forever of mine
perhaps I will always be in love
with the thought of you being mine
Hijab: a head covering worn in public by some Muslim women.
Kulfi: A desi icicle made with milk
gulab jamun : desi sweet

//I know you can't get over me
You are still and will always be mine//
Ammar Aug 2017
I miss you
I know you do too
but i am going crazy
those 7 seconds
or so it seemed
was that the last time
was that it
will i never see you again
Those sparkling hazel eyes
The red with the black
But you looked
you looked at me with repulsive eyes
why
WHY
it was the last time
then what is the repulsiveness for
where is all your love

"I love you" my last words to you
"Thankyou" yours

Is that befitting
does that do justice to us
//Look at me baby with love
Come back baby to love //
  Aug 2017 Ammar
mk
you are wrigley's spearmint
and a little bit of sweat
you are white and grey
black and blue
you are a big slice of pizza
(the butter is mine)
you are envelopes
and hershey's
long fingers
small nose
birthmarks
and flaws
you are violence and forgiveness
pain and discomfort
warmth and silence
hurt
you are hurt

you are a memory
a moment
an association unlimited by time
perhaps this world will always be littered
with reminders of when you were mine
associations.
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