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all things seemed
    p o s s i b l e
in the explosive air      
a r o u n d you and now
that you are gone
so are the possible things.
today lead me to music
to beauty
to love
i'm usually the ***** poet
the drinker and smoker
the under achiever
but tonight
I feel capable of
inhaling the benevolent energy
of 100 suns
of swallowing whole
a whole a spoonful of love
I love talking in cliches
because **** being real
i wear headphones
so I can ignore the world
swipe right on tinder
Let me be your latest fix
I'm the smiling faced jester
looking to win the ****** race
but you make me happy
happier than minimal clouds
the sun is shining
I am red
but I feel as if
I bathed in orange and deep yellows
**** my poetry
this is a status check
I hope you all are fine
the people with whom I connect
Give me poetry.
Life splashed over
Blank page after blank page
Time over lust
Are you ready?
She is starlight
Fighting for the moon's attention
As she moves in sync
With the peace of this earth
Sparking fires In the fields of my imagination
She coaxes me forward
Towards some beautiful disaster
My eyes caught in her gaze
As I float among the wreckage of my ship

She is a healer
Who never healed her own wounds
So she gives and gives
An leaves just the smallest trail of blood
She lives in a house full
Of punched out funhouse mirrors
With a bottle in one hand
And her not so innocent good intentions
In the other
She makes me feel like some dumb little kid
Riding his bike way too fast down a hill
No helmet, just a grin

The way she is so full of that nervous energy
You get the feeling that she is always moving
Kinetic
With eyes closed and music playing
The way she seems like nobody is watching her
She fixed her broken acoustic
By taking my heart strings
And strumming them against pretty fantasies
Just because she missed the sound

On this earth many do wander
Whether she has a flower in her hair,
Gum in her mouth,
A cute 2nd hand outfit
With cute first hand scars to match
Out there -
Walking with the weight of their clipped wings
Resting heavily on their back -
Are the fallen angels
And I wish I knew how
I might teach them to fly again
Take in a few more gulps
swallowing your pride
the only time this world makes any sense
is when the room is spinning
poor little baby bird
fell out of the nest all too soon
the ground is hard with tall grass
where predators lurk
listen up, kid
you need to learn to aim true
find ways to smile through pain
and yeah, it's okay to cry
just leave the door to your heart open a crack
do not forget to stand tall
the night sky is resting in your palms
each star a cosmic reflection
of every sleep laden dream
you've been smoking up all of my punchlines
that you didn't get
******* for the temptation
of somebody kind enough
to maybe love you for you
listen, little clubber
before this long winding road grows open
you need to make friends
with the man trapped in the mirror
I don't like to make small talk
But you make it so much fun.

I don't like to travel
But I would to see you.

I don't like human contact
But I'd run up and hug you.

I don't like emotions
But when I'm with you I don't know how to feel.

I don't like people
But I really think I love you...
 May 2014 Esther Leigh Trail
Rin
There are
bad things
that come
at night when
you’re all alone
and broken
and weak.

*Don’t
let
them
in.
she's as mysterious as a faceless murmur,
like a goldfish in the pond, hiding amongst the fronds.
Am I desperately intrigued by you?
Am I trying to touch the fog?
Or are you the fog that will be nowhere to feign, when the sun will shine again?
a lady lights a cigarette
glowing red cherry
lips, puffing without
regret
a cigarette, burning
smoking, grey breathing
choking and
tap tap the
falling ashes

it is over with
a definitive flick —
a lady lights a cigarette
she can see her spirit
dancing in the smoke
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