send the draft whispering like an elusive ghost
a substitution withering in the blank corners
a dusty vase shafted with flowers
rosy reds and ****** orange,
yellow clementine and pine green
peace of mind lurking where
the golden sun shine hits the
wall of dark grey matter,
empty space singing melodies rocketing
like buzzing bees chasing
and ladybugs swirling,
didn't know the baggage leaning
grew the calluses on my palms
and strengthened my shoulders
my collar bones sometimes
give out from my own weight,
but I claimed the luggage
and now they seem to float
like sunshine spilling over
the impression of a landscape,
I come home every night
to water the flowers,
greeting the ghost I decided to let go
I was set free
acquainted with the
distance between you and me
I am willing to leave alone
for the wild flowers to grow

stand mesmerized
as the shadows prance across
the beaten crackle cement
stare in awe, in wonder
as the golden sun
spills across the chalky red brick
the air is sweet, thick
lick it from the cheeks and lips
the breeze ****** and scatters
across the swaying stalks of grass
the cattle dot the rolling land
with shadows thrown and muddled
keep the land locked in place
nestle it, gently
in the crook of your arm
and as the sun recedes
behind the horizon of mountains
the light pools in the crevasses
of the willow land

a couch of brown
and a headache too loud
which pinches at the thoughts
crashing in my head

put on a channel
a bag of potato slices
a hot tea to keep me warm
in this locked alley stone

the movies pass by
and the time ticks alone
keep the couch soft and warm
while waiting for those things
I always have to do

but not today
no,
I am doing nothing
at this hour
and that is my story
for the day

the puff of white breath
dazzling beads of frost
smell of spewing exhaust

please, oh my god please,
don't ever ******* say that again
at how you want death to come
and ****** the galaxy from your eyes
and steal the life
right out from your warmth,
to turn cold and still,
to never hold a loving hand,
to never see the light of day again,
and how the breeze simply brushes
and swoons in the great blue sky,
to never feel the kiss of rain
trickle down the back of your neck,
never say that you prefer death,
that is so agonizing,
it's so ******* terrifying
watch the golden sun spill on the bedroom walls,
stare in awe at how the butterfly
flutters in an ocean of lavender,
taste the spicy tang
feel the smooth alcohol spill
in the pit of your stomach,
knowing it's so easy to fall
victim to the such clutches
just never decide to go
just keeping holding on
to the music on hold

one morning the evening star
wished, wished with all
the ache in her heart
that she could run, run away
so far, far into another art of
a different throne to cast her
rays, where the shadows spoke
in an alien language,
where different ships looked upon
her for a great destination,
where the winds sang a different tune
and the ocean murmured of unpredictable claims,
oh how sometimes this even star yearned,
yearned with all her heart that one day
she could leave the comforts in the puzzle,
in her small share of the vast, vast sky
oh, how the evening star
could lay eyes on an alien horizon  
so she wished, wished each morn and twilight
wished upon a lone, lone trail
set ablaze in the heavens above her throne
where the travelers, the sky-streakers,
those who starred wherever the world
she wished upon those,
the runners, those who demanded
for more

another attempt at this
this soliloquy
oh, hello
I haven't realized you were there
my feelings are everywhere
I ponder of decadency
curses, blank verses
my idiocy worthless
wander for that
drop of sanity
restrictions soon born
from nonsense jurisdiction  
thoughtless truths
aspired from fiction
try desperately to wade through
diction to carry my weight
to wade through all this hate
crates beaten blind too straight
a compass to identity
I need to find my way
I cannot possibly begin to say
how astray we are from amenity
my journey in adolescence
I feel like once before
a child of eight  
I dreamt of terrible
marvelous skates
weaving simplicity
complexity in outer space
rocket ships realities traced
now to spines of crates
drowning to the lid, lost salty straits
yet what is once
will never begin again
look at me now, eight
I live to see light of day
and end with kissing white *****
of those medallion ivory gates
filthy green dollars
as they clip my windpipes
to hush our voices gone hoarse
in constant delay
smothered so we stray breathless,
worthless in constant replay
a desolate lampshade
shattered shards of what
remained of eight year old dreams
a second chance too late
a second path too vain
my liberty to express
those wooden crates, open
passionately
constantly drift astray
in those seas of dismay
have no fear for me
the stars will now
guide me the way  
it's going to be okay,
my precious eight

The smell of crackling firewood
The grey woodsmoke swirling
Echo of past memories burning
Not away, no that's not the case
But more like the pain
Which used to be
And the amazement
Which persists to reel
In circles and circles
Wondering when the new year
Will bring its worthwhile

may I sleep soundly
rich with tepid vigor
on yawning hours
of wakeful day
yet may the
embrace of
nightly shadows
keep the
swimming dreams
warm so to steal
the hours
of tomorrow

I am going to run now
no, not away
from those who wishes
me to stay,
no,*
I am running
to prove my
scarred soul
I am better
*than yesterday