you only miss my presence
when there is nobody around you.
you only miss my voice
when there is nobody to speak to you.
you only miss my laughter
when there is nobody to laugh at your jokes.

that little red pill
I take every night
supposed to calm my racing thoughts
make the panic attacks subside
help me sleep that night
all it does is make me dizzy
my head still runs circles 'round me
over and over the thoughts repeat
as I count in my head to multiples of eight
counting and counting
checking my closet
just once more
endless cycle until I can't breathe
and I black out

LIFE IS A BEAUTIFUL LIE
AND
DEATH IS A PAINFUL TRUTH