This is what you need.
Satisfaction guaranteed.
Everyone is doing it.
Just listen to these true consumer stories.
We've got charts and graphs to prove it.
(We go to great lengths to feed our greed)
This product will fill that hole.
Buy it and finally be happy.
Because we know that you feel alone
in a culture built to make you feel empty.
Look at what it's done for the people you love:
fully endorsed by your favorite celebrities!
You can't live without it.
(Don't you dare doubt it)
We provide it to you out of love
(for a nominal cost)
If you believe in a God above,
and in our country -
if you support our troops,
and want to help our economy -
then you'll pull out your credit card and call the number on your screen.
(give us your money)
To spend it is destiny.
Let us tell you of its miracles.
(We know you're inclined to believe)
We liken our product to the advent of Christ.
(Become a walking advertisement (pay the ******* price))
We've smashed the competition.
This is what you've been wishing for.
Sanctify your existence.
(Buy it now, you mindless sycophantic *****)
If you don't believe what we say,
remember,
it's a virtue to have faith.
It's been reinforced by television, movies, and plays.
We know you pray before you go to sleep every night.
We've got the answer to those prayers.
Buy our product and finally feel alright.
(This is the part where you pay)
What a way to live a life.
Ain't capitalism great?
God Inc. Salvation for Sale