I can recall a time when the sun rose and set in your eyes.
Gloriously, I bathed in your scent and your taste..
and while searching for all of the stars inside of your heart, I found the moon.
When I held you on that warm October night, we rolled in mountains and valleys and rivers and oceans;
and that was the exact moment I knew I found what I was looking for.

this is a poem about the summer you dropped acid.
this is a poem about the summer you called me and said you loved me.
this is an insecurity.
a sweaty-palmed handshake.
a speech on something you only half believe in.
I am nothing to worship, I want you to know that I am nothing
and still want to come blow smoke in each other's mouths.
this is a poem about the girl that said she wanted to kiss you but didn't.
this is: lonely nights, big sweaters, my blurry vision, your pale face.
this is a hallucination.
I want to say-
If she kisses your lips before I do, whisper into hers that she is not the first, the last or the only.
I want to say-
If she says she doesn't understand you, show her the photograph that laughs with your mother.
I want to say-
*everyone you love will leave for California.
everyone who loves you will stay.

I fold my poem
into an intricate rose
still she has no scent