Her smile is infectious.
She's both delicate and beautiful
And I can't find the logic
that makes me so resentful.

My words are ice, are cutting
But, I can't hold them back
The torrent keeps on coming
'til her demeanor cracks

I hear her wounded echos
But she's stranded there, alone
And there's none to blame for her abuse
I did it on my own.

And as her cries call to me
Guilt stirs
So does sympathy
But, I'm trying to teach a worthy lesson
Those tears
won't mean
protection.


I'm trying hard to lend a hand.
One day, she'll come to understand.
Then, that anguish in her eyes
won't destroy her
on the inside.

See,
each whipping
- from my temper -
gives
an opportunity.
Like ones I've used
to wrap myself
in walls
that boast security.




                                           *All this is disastrous
                                    her heart is filled with madness
                                                    an anger
                                                          a­lways
                                                    feeding­
                                             but she didn't show
                                               now she can't tell
                                          her life's a twisted Hell

and though he kept shining
our love was fading fast

She was wicked
because
she strutted through my kitchen barefoot
my glasses perched upon her nose
in a t-shirt
that was incredibly ****
though her dancing
resembled a frog.
She was wicked
because
my heart didn't break
it shattered
and the cruel fate of my love
is to continuously retrieve the pieces she tampered with
weld them together
because
I refuse to let go
of the memories.

She was twisted
in a way
we were practically intertwined
our bodies felt right
our minds were in tune
She was twisted
in a way
that I misunderstood
because she said she'd leave
but her laughs kept ringing
until I forgot the sting
in every way that I could
of those words
that meant
I'm leaving for good.

Honey, when I first saw your face
I was thinking
she's pristine
and I know the look you gave meant
I've never been more unclean

A year passed by
I spoke by heart
You seem untouched to me
You frowned at that and revealed those
ghastly
scars of the deepest degree

And the day that I insisted
you'd always been intact
you rolled your eyes and stripped
away the layers hiding cracks

Even after, when I declared
you're whole and bright and pure
you raged and cried and begged
then why's it so hard to endure

And when you had laid bare your all
to confute my observations
you saw yourself through my eyes

*such a beautiful creation

Once a day
I think of you
Your hair that grew white at 40
Your tending of the garden
How cats trailed you
as if your world was paced just right

Once a day
I fall for you
for your abundance of heels
your soothing voice
your gentle hands
your lack of plans, you loved to rest in Sunday's best
I fall because
you fell too

Once a day
I remember before
when the rich girl
gave it up
for the poor boy
and as I had to teach you everything
I remember thinking it was worth it
it's been worth it ever since

and once a day
all day long
I sit on my porch with eyes shut tight
listening for the rasping of worn down Janet
and her broken muffler
announcing your return

Well, it's a bit silly
because Janet's been compounded
and I know that despite all the efforts
you've been years grounded
and the folks in this town
have made sure I'm hounded
telling me once a while
to leave this place

Once a day
I've been waiting
I'm still waiting
I will wait