I would much rather have people say they need me than they love me. "love" is a word that is used too much and often in the wrong way. people can fake all of the "I love you"'s. but they can't fake the "I need you"'s. when you tell somebody you need them, it conveys that they are a necessary part of your life and if they are gone you can not survive. I, not only want you to want me, but I want you to need me. I want to become a necessary element of your existence, you already are of mine. this need is more powerful than that love ever could be. when you tell somebody that you need them, it's sad. it's so sad when it has to come to the point in persuasion where you are begging for somebody to stay that this phrase "I need you" comes out to play. you are in such a state that you cannot control what little spark you have left and you are forced to realize....wow....I need this person in my life. only when there is the threat of losing them you realize, "I need you". and wow, I need you.

whoever is reading this, whoever is listening, I am going to tell you about what some of us will come across in our lifetime. it is about the red lines. those ******* red lines. those ******* red lines do not just "appear". they are put there by the minds of the bodies that they litter. no, they do not want them to be there, for they think that they are some what of an imperfection. however, they are nothing of the sort. those ******* red lines are what some of us think we need to help us grow, to get through tough times. although when the red lines disappear, in their place comes silver lines. and those silver lines are beautiful. and those silver lines are valuable. and those silver lines are truly made of silver, they make our skin more interesting and even stronger than that whiskey you picked up last night. and these silver lines on my thighs and my wrists and my shoulders and my hips are the things that make me who i am and i ******* love them. i love my silver lines.

when i say that I'm sorry, i really mean that. i mean that i am so sorry but sometimes i say it so much to where the person i am talking to is sitting there like, "emma, come on, stop saying sorry." what i mean is that i am so sorry about this and i am so sorry that i have this imperfection that people find ANNOYING. i can't deal with myself when i find myself thinking that. its just that, i am SO sorry. for everything, and when i say everything, i really mean that. i am so sorry for even existing to take up your precious time with my talk of "sorry". i am so sorry that i was born and i am so sorry that you had the unfortunate luck of getting to meet me but i am just so sorry that i am the way that i am.

enchanted was he for her eyes were seemingly like a dream paradise.
he drew himself closer and closer till their lips touched
then viciously bit and filled her with tragical lies.

tormented was she for her eyes were seemingly like a fiery inferno.
it were once flourished with ravishing and unwavering beauty
and all that was left in her was the bitterness of his memories.

I'm sorry about last night i was so tired and sad and frustrated and i said things i didn't mean but i couldn't fix them when they came out of my mouth and i was too tired to try. when i get like that it would really just help if you talked....about anything like your day and what your doing and every little thing that bothers you but if you don't want to its okay I'm okay. and do you think when we talk on the phone you don't do other things (like watch tv or something) I'm so so so sorry if that sounds like I'm asking for too much you just never seem to pay a lot of attention to me when we talk on the phone and it just seems so pointless. I'm so so sorry I'm a mess and I'm not like i was I'm better i think but I'm working on it if you don't want to its totally okay I'm so sorry its okay I'm okay....im okay....im okay....im not okay.....

we stargaze because we know the answers we need are not on earth