I've fallen into an inevitable black hole;
One of my own divine creation,
With streaks of light blue acrylic paint
And rusty guitar strings that sing
8 bar blues in the dark.

I've envisioned a palace of my own,
Tall, white walls
Decorated with Italian paintings and some of our own,
The light creating shapes on the carpet.

I've found a familiar sense of home
Somewhere inside the pit of your chest
Next to the rhythmic beat
Of my favourite song on repeat

From cardboard walls of colour-struck emotional discomfort,
Formed a sense of urgency
Between interlaced fingers and spines

I've come to find that I misplaced myself somewhere there
Perhaps beneath the gloomy chair in which you sat
Or in the fine laced stitches, burning blue onto the surface of our skin

I've inhaled the smoke of a thousand burning thoughts
All of which never cease to return from the dead
Much the same as my grieving eyes
Who do not seek to forget the freckles on your back
Or the creases on your stomach

I've given infinite love to a murderer
One who does not seek to return it
And after years of chasing oblivion
I am now aware of what it feels like
To be an undesired second.

I can see myself now,
Shouting "farewell" to this place
And the lonely souls who occupy it;
Floating around in oblivious, liquid states.
I've felt the tug of roots from the trees,
Grasping my ankles, begging me to join them,
But the promise of concrete skies and neon greetings have gnawed their way
Through my skull.
I won't apologize for giving in to my desires,
For broadening my knowledge
And making use of my short existence.
I am not limited
To this simplistic, little rock.

please leave
you're drowning me
in carelessness
and i can't seem
to swim my way out
of this one
destruction
resides in my soul
failed to mention
your hollow heart
tore mine apart