I'm tired of running
after love

he's a marathon runner
and I'm a short woman
with flat feet

my back
is shaped like the curvature
of his smile
and my breathing is heavy

his back is as straight as the arrow
that pierced straight through heart

I have cuts in my thighs
one for every time he didn't
look me in the eye

sometimes I forget
why I'm running

I think love is supposed to feel like rain

and with him
it feels like a silhouette
in a dry desert

Staring at the ceiling
wondering how fast
it got so wrong

Felt like speeding
on an empty highway
only to crash
into nothingness

And I wonder
how fast
It got so wrong

Out of
The blue
Thin air

Were there any signals?
Besides my beating heart?
Any signs?
Other than my shaking limbs?
Any symptoms,
Apart from my heavy breathing?

Remember the time,
you stood beside me
watching the milky orange sunset?

"Waves are warnings," you said

And what, may I ask, were our waves?

The lonely afternoons?
Or the empty glances?
Were they the motionless emotions?
Or the spitting of unsaid words?

"Waves are warnings,"
But viewers see them as natural blessings

And who's to say warnings are not?

Click click
Light that cigarette
Take your mind off the woman
Who took your heart away

The first time you saw her
She felt like sunshine on a rainy day
But everytime you were close enough to touch her
She would fade between the clouds

And everytime you were close enough to hear her
She would forget what she was saying

Blame not the ones
Who haven't learned how to love
All their lives
They have lived in a shell

Try to remove her
Without breaking her shell

Twirling in the living room
Of my childhood house
Fast.. faster

Suddenly I stop

But the Earth
never stopped rotating

I left my wrist watch
At home today

I don't need to be reminded
By the passage of time

My bones are osteoportic
And so are the walls of my life

Its only a matter of time
Before they start breaking

And I really
Really
Need a break

I gave up
On trying to fix
What has been long broken

Shattered pieces scattered all around
And why would I
Be picking all the sharp edges?

The way you express love
is destructive
but I don't think anyone taught you
otherwise

And no one taught me
how to live in ruins

Take what you find pleasing,
your happiness is mine

Break me into pieces
and keep me in your fist

- He pulls my wrist
like a parent does a child
And I wonder
"Mother, what have I done wrong?"

I found a bike without wheels in his basement
I'll pedal till I'm courageous enough to run -

Our latest conversations are sounding a lot like goodbyes
I don't know
if you
have noticed

Our ancestors' DNA
altered our own

I bet
My ancestors
were runners

Maybe they
ran from lions
ran from fire,
ran from fear

Sometimes
I have the urge to run
I would be sitting in class
And it would suddenly hit


My fears are indescribable,
Unspecified

I run
from conformity
from reality
I run towards habit,
I run back home

Reverting
to my old ways

Falling
in the same hole,
black hole

I run
because I don't know
how else
to silence my brain

It yells so loudly sometimes
Sends impulses
Stronger than lightening
And my muscles shiver

I can't stand still
whilst self destructing

I need to know
That I've tried

I have tried
To fix myself
In the only ways
I know would work

Even if they are
The same ways
That ruin me