No one tries to save the monster from themselves

i push people
away.
but the few friends i try
holding on to
tend to slip
away
from my grasp.
the sensation still
r u n n i n g
through my fingertips.

people like you
leave paper cuts.

You fed my dreams, like a needle feeds my pain, through my broken veins:
A silver bullet to my heart, your lies ripping me apart.

When I turned, looking for your burned,
bruised, broken words, in a noisy world,
I found silent screams...
same as when I'm waking from bad dreams...

Except when I called for you, you ran.
And when I waited,
my patience lashed, ripping the seems of my skin;
until my love bled out, like it had never been.

                                       You just keep walking. I'll stay. Plant my skin. Water it with this blood. I'll grow. And, I'll love.
                                        Maybe someday you'll see me. And, maybe someday I won't feel, you.

the only thing left
of what we once were
is that that flannel you gave me
in the corner
on the floor.

I'm afraid of leaving myself alone
with me,
because i'm not afraid of death,
and my body tries to **** itself
without my mind consenting.

It's an absence of brainwaves.

absolute nothing
is scarier than pain
at least pain has a reason

but this nothing consumes
it eats me alive
lingering in my thoughts,
my words,
my actions.

it's an absence of brainwaves.
it's an absence of life.