“Some people are never far away...”

I am thinking this--
bouncing tipsy on pool floaty
at my daughter's new home
in 'burbs of Philly
Sipping wine
on a pool floaty
thinking this--
  
abstractly

Sipping wine
in odd peace
on a pool floaty
cool and soft, the water
Cicadas scour the air

...Knowing it's not true....

I had watched them from my porch
leaving –
since the day they came
They –
and the robins too, headed south now
tumbling in their groups
that garble time
that sketch horizon
with a maze of staggered lines
Watching
geese--
their backs and wings gleam
in golden V
across the sunset

They are honking as they rise, raucous
from river in their flight
My daughters do the same  
Migrating south from Scranton
waving, honking til their cars have turned the corner
out of sight

...on a pool floaty
fully clothed
I watch them
drenched in the darkening sky
tasting salty streams

Intoxicating sounds
their laughter
their voices--
How I love....

cicada droning
in the lush of background green

I will keep this moment clutched
to me
all I have of them
between these moments

I live between moments
of nothing and everything

I had said that I would be there by now
but the falling rain causes me to wait,
introspective of the last time I was out
in that direction. Memories delay
my heart from running headlong in anyway.
But those who found me have searched so far
to ask me to join them without a name.
Do I brave the rain? I'll decide in the car.

I had not planned on returning again,
but I fear that in the passing of time
I will be forgotten in the wilderness.
A body, once young, no one will recognize,
A face, once hidden, not needing disguise.
To be known is to be left with their scars.
It is a wound I am desperate to hide.
I watch the fog rise. I'll decide in the car.

Charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting.
Beauty is fleeting. in years going by
what hardly had come is already leaving.
But I am invited for one last time
to light the flame of desire inside
before I am doomed to fade from the stars.
The clouds already start to hide their sky.
Should I shine tonight? I'll decide in the car.

The road is straight, but my heart wonders, lost.
Through regret and fear , and rain falling hard.
Addiction fulfills at such high a cost,
A line to be crossed? I'll decide in the car