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I want to feel you
To sit in your skin
I want to wear you
To hide within

I want to be you
To let people know
You're an amazing person
wherever I go

I want to feel you
to hold you close
but now you're gone
like a ******* ghost...
goodbye max.life wont be the same without you and your pretty grey eyes.
I wish we'd just stayed friends and watched the stars til 3 am.
You've ruined the color blue for me,
I'm surrounded by your lies.
You made me smile but honestly,
You ruined the color blue for me.

You took your dagger and stabbed it through,
jabbing it into my heart.
Tearing my
Itty
Bitty
Girl
Brain
Apart.

You infested my dreams,
ruled in my night terrors,
stole my peace of mind.

I can't believe there was a time I thought that you were kind.

YOU TOOK AWAY MY SANITY,
Ate away at my skin.
I itch and scratch and rip out chunks,
yet you keep filtering in.

You ruined the color blue for me,
I see it everywhere.
Your eyes,
Your fists,
Your bruised and strangled lips.

The blue is always there.
I am surrounded by pain and sorrow. I am drowning in colors people cant comprehend.
Well, the night is long,  
and the silence stings,  
messages like whispers,  
caught on invisible strings.  
How will you know what to do,  
when the truth feels like a game,  
and the words that fall from your lips,  
are just echoes of shame?  

In this world of quick decisions,  
where every glance can deceive,  
the heart wears a mask,  
and the soul learns to grieve.  
A liar’s tongue can spin a tale,  
but the heart knows the score,  
underestimate the shadows,  
and you’ll find you’re wanting more.  

Oh, we’re different features  
of the same old face,  
chasing memories like ghosts,  
in this empty, crowded space.  
Time’s a thief in the night,  
it moves like a restless tide,  
risking everything for a moment,  
when the truth can’t be denied.  

So we reach across the darkness,  
with hands that tremble and shake,  
searching for that flicker,  
in a world that feels so fake.  
And when the morning breaks,  
with the dawn’s gentle light,  
we’ll find the strength to rise,  
and make our shadows bright.
if you were to put your best memories on a scale alongside your worse
both holding the same intensity
neither more impactful than the other.
your worse memories will still outweigh the most positive ones.
we as humans are sadly inclined to internalize the negative
we are persistent to recall the bad over good
you can have a basket full of good apples
and still throw it away because of one that is rotten.
how many good birthdays can you remember?
how many times can you recall yourself crying as a child rather than laughing?
how much do you remember?
and how many times will you keep trying to forget?
avoidance is temporary and accepting it means that hurt from remembering is permanent.
being numb is growing tolerant.
how much do you want to forget?
dwelling on things that can't change, won't change anything.
this defense mechanism gives importance to negative experiences
and I begin to find myself always remembering
then here comes the self questioning
becoming cautious
always looking over my shoulder.
I remember never liking myself because of what others put me through
I remember never having the strength to tell myself different.
Instead of asking how much I remember
I think of what I know.
I know that these experiences do not define me but shape me.
I know that if you never remember who you are
you will always see yourself with the eyes of others
and everything you've been put through.
if you were to put what you know on a scale alongside with what you remember
both holding the same intensity and impact
depending on what you truly know instead of what you think
depends on if it outweighs what you remember.
poetry is my heart’s way of communicating when i cannot translate it anymore.
between the painful ****** of nostalgia from the past
and the hugs and dreams of fantasies from the future
there’s no room for you to live here
maybe if I evict my equivocal feelings
and start thinking less and saying more
at least you would have something you would want to respond too
without just replying to me out of pity
maybe then you would move back into my present
silly of me to think i could even pause time for a second
but I swear when i’m with you it’s like the world moves slower
but now I sit on top of the ordinary
and the world still spins without you here
the sun sets a little earlier
the birds still flock in sync, how they did yesterday
everything is still the same, but i look at the so normal world
with wistful eyes.
and i’ve drowned myself in sentimentality
not because I don’t know how to swim, but I just choose not too.
and as I navigate through this world without my muse
with potential as an artist, with dreams of a time traveler
I pray to stars and ask for a split second just to be with you again.
there’s lots of screaming going on in my head and your voice is the only thing that can make whatever it is shut the **** up.
I got my first comment and repost on one of my poems
I do not know why I cried
thank you for showing appreciation
it is the first time my tears actually hugged me instead of stinging.
*** yall like my poems fr fr lol i really just be venting
#ty
I don't want to die
I just need something to make me feel alive.
what I think of with every attempting thought.
i made my mom cry
hurt her again
but didn't mean to
i keep ******* up
nothings holding me here anymore

pointless meds
stupid arguments
damning blades
tempting pills
nothings holding me here anymore

she cried and yelled
i sat and watched
face blank, hands numb
cant feel anything
nothings holding me here anymore
i think im a horrible daughter
i used to hate it, the arguing and crying
hated it so much
now i just dont feel anything
i think im a horrible daughter
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