I don’t remember the moment I stopped feeling safe.
Maybe it was when I saw my mother’s tears
And realized love could be cruel.
Maybe it was when I learned to run,
To hide in silence,
To hold my breath until the storm passed.
But I was just a kid,
And love wasn’t meant to be this way.
I remember finding things I didn’t understand…
Images that twisted my thoughts,
Made me question what it all meant.
I was maybe 10,
But I wasn’t a child anymore,
Not after that.
Then came the quiet,
A new home with grandma,
Where the chaos slowed,
And the world felt a little softer.
Years later you moved in across the street,
And suddenly, I wasn’t alone.
We stayed up late,
Talking like we could create a new life,
A different world where love didn’t hurt.
I gave you all the parts of me
That no one else could see,
Believing in the illusion
That you could be the one to save me.
You made me feel safe,
For a while.
You were my first true love,
My safe haven,
And I dove in without looking back.
But you were a storm too.
You left- then came back,
And I let you, Every time.
Chasing the feeling of being wanted,
Of being enough.
I let you break me
And still, I waited for you to come back whole. But you didn’t.
You moved on,
Married, had kids,
And I was still stuck in the memories,
In the dream we never got to live.
Then the call came,
And my world stopped.
You tried to end your life,
I thought I could save you if I had enough time,
That I could bring you back from the edge.
But they took you off life support…
And you were gone.
And I was left,
Empty,
With a heart full of things I never said.
It’s been years now,
And I’ve built a life,
Found love in places I never expected,
But your absence still lingers.
Your face fades,
but your memory doesn’t,
And I still miss you,
In ways I can’t explain.
I forgive you,
For all the hurt,
For leaving me broken,
But I’ll never forget you,
Not ever.