There was once a mentor
whom I dearly admired
I told him the darkest inner-workings of my mind
he listened gently with good intent
and last I said,
"There is no one in this world
who is going to give a **** about yourself,
There is no one in this world
who will genuinely take on the role
of make-believing your hero,
pretending to be everything,
anything
that you truly wanted.
I've come to realize,
no one gives. a. ****.
I am going to be my own savior."
I let a genuine smile reach my lips

he remained speechless
the silence and tension was palpable,
seemingly endless

Slowly, he looked up.

he stared hard into my glassy eyes
held my gaze firmly,
as I struggled to keep mines

my own savior?

"That's impossible", he replied

There was a quiver of my lower lip
a collapse in my chest

I could feel myself shattered.

With trembling hands
I reached out and asked the question I so constantly asked
and yet never dared ask,

*"Why...

When you say
that you are nothing,
I fear for you.
When the words that leave your lips
are shrouded in darkness,
I fear for you.
When you look as though
you're about to cry,
I fear for you.
I love you,
and I don't want you to be lost, and
I fear for you.

When I talk too much
When I blurt every stupid word,
I fear for myself.
When I don't have anything to say
When I don't have anyone to talk to,
I fear for myself
That I don't make any more scars
That I don't do anything more stupid.
I fear for myself
When I am bored and have nothing to do
I annoy people,
I make them crazy
As I make myself more crazier.
I just have the fear
That I talk too much now
I start to feel
I would have no words left
In sometime
I would be sitting at one place like a dumb thing
Not being able to say anything
Because all the best words I knew,
I wasted them in annoying people
I wasted them because of my silly talks,
I wasted my time
I wasted my sense
I fear for myself that I won't be able to stand in this place anymore
And that I would soon be secluded.