My heart has collapsed into a million pieces
And you've left a hole in my soul
And now you're gone
It feels like I cannot go on
I still have the pieces of you in me
I can't stop thinking about the night our eyes met
You kissed and hugged me, then you left
Left me standing there wet
I really thought we could have made beautiful love together
But you don't care, you don't give a ****
Everything to you is always whatever
Guess what? I still got the pieces of you in me
I don't know why I can't let go of what we had and just let it be
Every time I see you, it still feels like the first time I saw you
But I could tell by the look on your face that it's over, I was just some girl you knew
But every little day by day
The pieces of you in me
It's fading away and away

Everywhere you go is just like high school
Whether its college, work, or the military, you’re always trying to be or want to be around the kids that are “cool”
Everywhere you go is just like high school
Don’t believe what they tell you
It never ends
The misery and loneliness you felt then is here to stay
Those stupid cliquey chicks, *** kissers, and showoffs will always make you feel that way
Those people you hated in high school are everywhere, you’ll always be permanently annoyed
Just like life and pain, it’s hard to avoid
Everywhere you go is just like high school
Don’t believe what they tell you
It never ends
Everywhere you go is just like high school

To lift up out of the darkness
Would take some strength and courage
None which I lack
But self-control I could gain a little more of
When vision becomes blurred, everyone around me becomes someone I have to defend myself from and I would attack anyone the second
they make me snap
Darkness surrounds me every day and everywhere
But I do care
About the outcome in regards to my negativity
So, in the back of my mind I keep but what a little bit of hope
And that little bit of hope
Helps me motivate myself to do better
But that hope only comes when my life is threatened from the darkness which clouds over me in consequence of my negativity
I will be no victim of darkness
For this will be my motivation to the light

Don’t cry Ana, I’m here for you
You could put all your troubles away and quit feeling blue
Don’t cry Ana
I know I’m not no Santa
But I’ll try to give you anything you want
And do you really think all your troubles are going to go away by taking those pills and smoking that blunt
Lips so soft, face so pale, skin so warm
Ana doesn’t know it but I think she really is the prettiest sweetest charm
As I look into her eyes I could feel her pain
But only if I knew what she was thinking inside her brain
Don’t cry Ana, no more
You’re here with me now safe and secure, you don’t have to worry about feeling sore

For every day that I am empty I feel like killing myself
And I wonder when I am going to be fine again
Every day I am dealing with constant anger and fear
And I don't know how to make it end

Endless feelings of emptiness overcome me
Endless feelings of emptiness overcome me

Wasted youth, wasted years
Being sad, shedding so many tears
Wasted youth, wasted years
Spent with insecurities and fears

For I feel anxious, melancholy, and hollow
Oh, it's a wreck, I know
But it's not like I have given up and I'm still trying though
I have goals that I want to achieve
Something inside of me is still pushing, still believes
Insecurities holding me back
But my heart still stays pure
No one can take that away from me
It's inside of me
It's inside of me

Torn
Oh, torn
Me, I, who would of thought
Thought I’d be torn between two chicks
The one Dani I did love and the other Lynn I’m so passionate about
Dani cares so much about me and is having a hard time just being friends
And Lynn, well she was there for me in a time of need but now I’m not of that need she doesn’t want nothing to do with me
I say torn
Because they both torn me apart
Dani can’t get over what we had and the more she dwells on it, it just tears me up inside seeing how she hurts
Lynn, well I tell her how I feel and try to keep in contact with her but it seems like nothing works for me to get close to her and that just tears me up inside
But if I could see her face to face again
I would be the happiest chick alive

This is what would happen…
And I look in her eyes and sing to her what she would want to say to me
“Don’t try to make you win me
Because I know you hate your life
And you and your stupid lies”

This is what I don’t get about these chicks
Because right after I tell her that I need her and that she inspires me
She pushes me off to some other chick
I’m sorry but I’m not a mushy mushy type of person
So for me to open up to you, spill my guts out, tell you how I feel
It’s something that will take you by surprise
Something rare and unappreciated

Oh man it’s just so hard to be friends after a relationship gone bad
Why can’t we just be friends without all the bickering and arguing
Without the hatred and jealousy
And the competition
Oh the competition
To see who can ******* who first
Or who will hook up with someone first
All you gotta do is mention some other chick
And the other is bound to get jealous and mad then start to act outrageous
It’s hilarious
It’s like a friendship on the rocks
But hey I didn’t order that

And I need a prescription of some kind because these chicks are driving me crazy
How can a chick look you in your eyes like that and tell you opposite of what she is feeling
And how I can look a chick in her eyes and not say anything
And she can fall in love with me
I don’t get it
Where do I fit in
I guess between these chicks
Because I’m either feeling and telling her how I’m feeling and she’s not feeling me
Or she’s feeling me but I’m not feeling her in that way

And I think to myself…
Shy and refrained
Why can’t I be tamed
Quiet and reserved
I get what I deserve
Angry and defensive
Why
Because no one listens
Empty and feeling alone
Just wanna sleep and stay at home
Anxious and jittery
Causing a bitter me
Jealous and demanding
The weak girls I always wound up commanding

And this is what she says to me…
“I don’t understand why you gotta be so mean
I’m just trying to be your friend
Isn’t that what friends do
Be there for you
But how can I when you won’t let me in
I just don’t understand
Baby, I mean buddy, no I mean friend
You
You just gotta let me in
I am someone you could depend on, you just gotta let me in
Because whether you wanna be with me or not I’m here until the end”

Well I wish it was that easy to be her friend and let her in
But there are feelings I’m trying to protect of hers
And she just doesn’t understand
I just can’t be her friend, I just can’t let her in
And she doesn’t understand that it’s not that simple to just be happy…

They say it gets better but it seems like it would never
I’m just so tired of
Tired of feeling this way
And you
You shouldn’t be so self-absorbent
Everything is not always because of you
  
In reality
I care about the one I’ve been with and the other for which I’m deeply passionate about
But it’s no doubt
It’s just that I need to move on
And no longer for these chicks will I be torn

She's addicted to sadness
She's addicted to sadness

She asks "who am I"
"Who am I"
You answer no one
No one
Non-existent
See through paper thin
So transparent
So outside of yourself
Insecure for sure
But just so outside of yourself

She asks "who am I"
"Who am I"
"What have I become"
"What have I done with me"

Hey how are you doing over there
She replies "not so good since you abandoned me"
"You made me, saved me"
"I'm yours"
"What I do is inspired by you, well, all the positive"
"The negative is in consequence of your negligence"
She bellows" but it's just so hard for me to forget you with all the emptiness that surrounds my life"

And I sit alone in the darkness
Left wondering again
Where did I go wrong
There's something wrong
There's always something wrong
I gotta keep singing that same **** sad song
Because I just don't belong
I just don't belong
Something's wrong
Something's always wrong
But how long
How long am I gonna keep singing that sad song
There's nothing wrong
Just gotta find a new song

Addicted to sadness
She's addicted to sadness
She's addicted to sadness
But who will stop the ******* madness

I’m willing to through my job away and join the army, give up this girl I’m dating
All because you kissed me

I’m willing to go away for six months with a bunch of strangers I don’t know
Leave my home
Through my job away, give up this girl I’m dating
All because you kissed me

Your lips are the deadliest thing on you
They are the venom which feeds me poison
Contrary to what I think of you
But you tell me to do anything and I’m dumbfounded, I’ll do it
In addition, I just think it’s just everything you say

But I’m willing to all for you
All for you
Don’t try to play inarticulate, you’re more than flattered
Don’t give me your conservative *******
You’re more than flattered
But I’m willing to through my job away, join the army, and give up this girl I’m dating
All because, all because
You kissed me

And this all could have been true
But you wouldn’t and you didn’t

This is the last time you make me cry
As oppose to the first time
This is the last time
Yeah for being so vulnerable to you
Opening up letting you in
Seeing my weakness, super sensitivity
Me in a different skin
How could you
When I said that when you hurt, I hurt
I meant it
I'm not just talking ****
We're one now
Just like you said if I were to die, then you would die
Well I've cried, now you cry
If I go down, then you're going down
Oh, this will be the last time you make me cry
I know relationships ain't easy
This relationship
But baby we gotta cut all this ******* out
What the hell are we really fighting about
Do we feed off of hurting each other
Is that the only way we could ever be together
And does that one day mean someday or someday one day
There is no way I could ever intentionally hurt you
But can't you see
By hurting yourself that you're hurting me
I just want you to get better
So we could be better
Pain doesn't last forever
Unless you make it that way
I know **** doesn't go away in a day
But you could do this
Baby I believe this
Because if you go down, then I go down
And this will be the last time you make me cry

Can’t you see it’s me not everything that’s in our way
Can’t you see it’s me not everything in our way

You can build yourself an empire then watch it all fall apart
That’s basically what I do
With everything because I’m so inconsistent can’t finish anything through
Because I always feel so incompetent

Can’t you see it’s me not everything in our way
Explosive anger, stuttered words, attacking anxiety
That’s what I have to show for all my years of existence
Yeah and also a collection of broken hearts, college, a series of indifferent jobs, and books filled with sappy love and sad poems
Can’t you see it’s me not everything in our way

They say it’s always calm before the storm
Well that’s what it’s like when you first meet me
I’m smooth, calm, and cool
Then time goes by and I turn into a hurricane
My personality pours onto you like lightning, wind, and rain
The anger, insults, and mood swings hits you all at once
And like the speed of lightning you don’t know what hit you

So I’ll take my collection of broken hearts and whatever knowledge I got out of college, and my experiences of indifferent jobs, and books filled with sappy love and sad poems
And I’ll just go
No
Don’t try to stop me
Because if this were to work it would have been worked
And we’re standing still, we’re not going anywhere
Because it would be hard to move on with us still here…together
And I know it’s hard and it hurts, but our love wasn’t meant to last forever
I’m not being rude, mean, or insensitive
This misery and torment we put ourselves through when we’re together isn’t what is should be like to live
Can’t you see it’s not everything that’s in our way
Can’t you see it’s me not everything in our way

Okay we start off as friends then as the days, weeks, months go by
You tell me that you love me and that I'm your best friend
Now why, why did you do that
You just broke our friendship apart
Number one, never tell me that you love me, and two don't tell me that I'm your best friend
I just don't think I can handle that
I think I have a problem with getting close with someone
Now I think I hate you
But not in a bad way
Just in a way for you to get away, stay away from me
This is the love hate game I play with every friend I make
I think I got problems
But wait, I don't intend on this happening
It just does
I don't want to hate you, I want to love you
But why, why can't I
Sorry that you can't stay
'Cause this is the love hate game I play
Sorry that you can't stay
'Cause this is the love hate game I play

You light up the room, there’s no other that can do that like you do
Oh, I fear it has begun
My stomach queasy, body shaky, heart triple beating
You look at me oblivious to what’s going on inside of me, wondering why I’m shaking, eyes open so widely

And I think
Do you feel it, do you feel it
Do you feel the same

So caring and giving, loving and never wanting
Nothing in return for all you give to helping others
Carrying all the weight on your shoulders
All I want to do is be there for you and hold you
But you don’t seem to understand the way I feel or why I clam up when I see you

And I think
Do you feel it, do you feel it
Do you feel the same
Do you feel it, do you feel it
Do you feel the same
Do you know my pain
And I think
That I’ll tell Jacey
I think that’ll help this pain subside
I think that it’s gotta be better than keeping everything inside
Even if she doesn’t feel the same
I think it would help relieve this pain
Though if it wasn't unrequited it would be nice
I think that I still love her if she doesn’t feel the same
I think I’ll tell Jacey
Being bottled up, I’m just so tired
I think I need to know, so I can leave the queasy stomach and shakiness all behind
I think I just need to get this out in the open, I’m just so tired of feeling like this, knowing would be nice
Jacey
Do you feel the same
Oh, Jacey
Do you know my pain
Oh, Jacey
Do you feel it
Jacey
Do you feel the same

Bitter
I am bitter 'cause you want it this way

Bitter
Why am I bitter

Am I bitter 'cause I don't want to see you
Bitter 'cause I don't want to talk to you
Bitter 'cause I don't want to text message you
Bitter 'cause I don't want to e-mail you
And am I bitter 'cause I don't want to be with you
I am bitter 'cause you made it this way

******* chicks
Don't know the difference between bitter and not wanting to be bothered
And it seems she had things between us where it was like I always hollered
These ******* chicks wanna stay together 'cause they like the drama, the abuse
And no matter how many ****** up relationships I've been in, I just can't get use
To this
Although it has put me in angry mode, which now most of the time I'm always ******
And when I think about them
Adrenaline
Rushes over me
And I am angry, I am anxious, I am wide awake, and I am sweaty
But not bitter
And I hope none of them ever cross my path when I am feeling like this 'cause I don't know what I would do
But I know blood and bruises would be the end results

I can be angry and violent just like the words I write
But it leaves the chicks coming back for more
Words can be right
Pierce and rhyme
But just as long as blood and bruises aren't the end results

Everything I write from now on about love will be trashing it, bashing it
As if it was something I was discriminating against
I guess I'll be like this until I find the one
Yeah right, please, whatever
Every time I see couples being all cute
It just makes me sick
I had that, did it, done it
And I don't want it
Sometimes I lay awake at night
And think about her
Murdering her
******* strangling her so tight her ******* head explodes
Sometimes I think about getting a baseball bat and pounding the **** out of her head
But I could never do this
These are just thoughts, these ******* thoughts she puts inside my head
I have never felt so angry, so violent
Until, until I met her
Love, oh love is a joke
I told her I loved her
And now she won't go away
Why do we need love to feel alive
Why does she need love, my love to feel alive
Oh love, love
It has torn us apart, torn me apart
I have to go and find my heart
It has gone lost and turned cold in all this mess
But this I must confess, this I must confess
I can't do this, the love thing

I love the way you touch me in all places
I love the way your you know what tastes
I love the way you wrap your arms around me
I love the way you go down on me
I love the way you tie me up to the bed
I love the way you say spread
I love the way when you're finished all of this you tiptoe out the door
I love the way I cry when I don't hear from you anymore

Baby you are the sunshine in my blue skies
I want to spoil you as my queen and sing you to sleep with lullabies
Baby just know whether I’m close or far you’re not alone
I’ll be your support, you won’t have to face anything on your own
I can honestly say
I love the feeling of when I’m close to you, I love feeling this way
Your sincere eyes, pink lips, rosy red cheeks, and warm soft skin
Your beauty is perfection on the outside and on the inside your beautiful personality radiates deep from within

Much to our dismay sometimes we fight like the furious but
We don’t have to be a beautiful tragedy like Romeo and Juliet
Sometimes I will fail, I will **** up
But I pledge not to ever give up
We will without all the fighting preserve in love’s name
Because I will work hard for us, our love we will sustain

The stars, the moon, the sun, they are all nothing without you
When you are near you fill me up with such joy, the dark skies go from gray to blue
Your eyes light up the night sky, touching your warm soft skin
It just draws me deeper in
Closer to you
If you only knew
This beautiful feeling you provoke deep with inside of me
When I am with you time stops, my heart triple beats, and all melancholy feelings are at ease and I have no anxiety

I’m always thinking about you, it seems I try hard not to **** things up but I always do something to have you upset with me and I end up sad and empty here
I will not give up on trying to become a better version of myself or loving you because everything that we have is so pure and sincere
You know you’re always on my mind, even when we don’t speak or see each other
You’re in my heart, you’re in my soul, when you’re not near I feel you everywhere and I am happy you are my lover

When I’m with you my head is spinning like a carousel
I just love your cute red rosy cheeks and putting my nose in between your underarms, you know even without deodorant they don’t smell
I just love everything about you, and I love when I’m driving and I turn and look at you and you look at me on the side of your eye
Baby we don’t need to get anymore adrenaline from rollercoasters or Ferris wheels because when I’m with you I’m on a natural high
Every time I hear a beautiful love song I just want to sing it to you
Every time I have a beautiful thought or memory of us, I just want to tell it to you
Baby I hear and listen to everything that you say and I am aware of the things that upset you and I’m working hard to improve
When you’re always on my mind, even when we don’t speak or see each other, I’m certain it’s passion
When I’m with you or not around you this joyous amorous feeling is always lasting
I love sleeping and cuddling with you, I could lay next to you all day
My dreams are affected with thoughts of you and words you say


Baby you are the sunshine in my blue skies
I want to spoil you as my queen and sing you to sleep with lullabies
Baby just know whether I’m close or far you’re not alone
I’ll be your support, you won’t have to face anything on your own
I can honestly say
I love the feeling of when I’m close to you, I love feeling this way
Your sincere eyes, pink lips, rosy red cheeks, and warm soft skin
Your beauty is perfection on the outside and on the inside your beautiful personality radiates deep from within

Dear Mom,

I want to thank you for being by my side
Always being there for me, even when you caught me in a lie
There is so many ways I want to thank and tell you how much I love you
But understand it’s hard for me to
I know lately I haven’t been the daughter you could ever dream of
The one hanging out late nights, doing drugs
Being miss attitude
Disrespecting you, being rude
Getting all these tattoos and piercings but I don’t do it to disrespect you and make you angry
I do it because this is the way I express myself, what I want people to see
Yeah and also liking chicks but it wasn’t a choice I want you to understand that
That’s why I liked being around the group I hung out with, because I could be myself, and that’s a fact
I want to let you know all the craziness that happened that year was me being scared to grow up, graduate
To go out into the real world and escalate
I know I hurt the family and was being selfish
But if I had a wish
I would take most of it back
But some of it I’ve learned from it
Grown from it
But I’m happy this we got through
And this poem is for you
To show and tell you how much I love you

This is from your sincere daughter
Who appreciates everything you’ve done and bought her